Free Flesh Guitar by Geoff Nicholson

Goode’, ‘Lucille’, ‘Something Else’. ‘Route 66’ went down particularly well. A young guy got up and sat in on drums, another sat at the piano and did a pretty goodimpression of Little Richard. Jenny played gorgeous chunky rock and roll solos, and at one point was moved to perform a duck walk. The crowd loved her for it. The place was so alive, so enthusiastic she feared it might spontaneously combust. The only damper was Billy Nation who sat nursing a beer, his face showing absolute sulky disapproval.
    After an hour or so of fierce rock and roll, the boy came up to her again and pointed out an old man leaning on the bar, a man with a face as ancient as the rocks and the sand. The boy whispered, ‘The old fellah says can you play anything by Jimmy Webb?’
    And so they played a short medley of Jim Webb hits, including ‘By The Time I Get To Phoenix’, before returning to rock and roll. There was the same frenzy and adulation, and then all too suddenly it was over and the bar was emptying and Jenny was sipping a drink, feeling doubly exhausted and triply satisfied. Someone gave her a crate of beer and someone else provided a map and pointed out that they were only a couple of miles from a roadhouse and Shell station.
    Jenny accepted as graciously, as gratefully, as she knew how, all too aware of the sullen, graceless presence of Billy Nation. She no longer felt any need to chastise or berate him, but neither did she feel any responsibility.
    She said to him, ‘You know, I’ve been thinking about the way certain American popular songs can be used as song-lines. Look at “By The Time I Get To Phoenix”. When she’s rising he’s in Phoenix, then when she’s having her lunch he’s in Albuquerque, and by the time she gets home from work he’s made Oklahoma. You could draw his journey ona map.
    â€˜Or how about “Route 66”? Some of it’s just a list of names: Missouri, St Louis, Oklahoma City and so on. Follow the names and you could never get lost. Isn’t that exactly what a songline is?’
    Billy shook his head at her sadly and with all the condescension he could muster. He was trying to imply that she was stupid, that all she had done was confirm that she was too crass ever to understand him or his culture, and perhaps ultimately that was true, but there was some consolation in knowing she had the ability to play to an audience, any audience, and entertain them and make them happy.
    Billy Nation walked out into the night and Jenny was about to shout something mildly abusive after him, to tell him to get lost, but she decided that was no longer necessary.

BEAUTY TIPS WITH JENNY SLADE
    Number one: the nails
    Jenny Slade says, ‘You knowa lot of women seem to think that in order to get that authentic snarly, slutty, rock chick look, they have to wear their fingernails as long and sharp as talons, and that they should be painted blood red or Goth black, or in some metallic cyber shade. But I’m afraid it’s not that simple.
    â€˜There are two problems here. One, a right-handed guitarist can’t have talons on her left hand at all, because if she does they’ll get in the way of holding down the strings.
    â€˜Secondly, even the strongest non-chip enamel will get trashed by the time you’ve played two hours worth of shred and burn guitar, especially if you do any amount of finger picking. And, despite Courtney Love, most of us still believe that chipped nail varnish is a sin second only to a visible panty line. You could use false nails, I suppose, but in my humble opinion false nails are an abomination against nature.
    â€˜So you see, my advice to young female guitar players is really pretty simple: keep the natural look at your fingertips. Get a good manicure, eat gelatine, keep your nails short and unpainted. Let the authentic snarly, slutty, rock chick persona come from your playing, not just from