Free She's Out of Control by Kristin Billerbeck Page B

history are doomed to repeat it.” And then he clears his throat, like he regrets his words. “You’re a brilliant woman, Ashley Stockingdale. I’m certain you know what you want. You’ll figure it out.”
    But as the warmth in my stomach permeates the rest of me, I’m not certain of anything.
    Kay walks into the room. “Well, you two scared everyone off early tonight.”
    â€œI beg your pardon?” I say.
    Kay puts her palms up, as is her custom. “Don’t get defensive, but people scuttled out of here like you were throwing daggers.” She points to Kevin and back at me. “What’s going on between the two of you?”
    â€œNothing!” We say in unison.
    Kevin zips up his leather jacket and grabs the doorknob. “I’ve got to run. I’m on call later tonight. It had just been a long time and I wanted to check in and say hello.”
    â€œThanks for the flowers, Kevin,” Kay says.
    â€œYou’re welcome, and I won’t miss Bible study next time, I promise. Thanks for your hospitality. You are one amazing woman, Kay.” He looks at me and whispers, “As are you.” Kevin gives me a searing look that feels like lightning to a rod.
    He exits and Kay is staring at me. “What’s going on?”
    I cross my arms. “I don’t think Kevin believes Seth is going to ask me to marry him,” I say, and I watch Kay’s eyebrows lift. “I know, you don’t either, but even if he doesn’t, I can’t shut my feelings off like a light switch. Or just transfer them to another guy.” Can I?
    Kay nods her head. “It looked like your light just switched on there, but it’s none of my business. My offer is still good. And you don’t have to marry anyone for it.” Kay smiles knowingly.
    â€œI don’t know yet, Kay. Everything feels completely out of control right now. I don’t know if I’m the new general counsel at Gainnet, or going to be looking for a job to maintain my innocence. I don’t know if I’m getting engaged next week. Or if Seth has something else in mind. Basically, I don’t know if I’m coming or going, and I hate that someone else has control over my destiny. Someone with a commitment issue.”
    â€œAshley, you are a born drama queen. If you’re waiting for Seth to calm your life down, you’ve got a long wait.”
    â€œWhat’s that supposed to mean?”
    â€œFor most of us in the real world, it means that the last pair of heels at Bloomingdale’s does not constitute a crisis. And if I had a friendly hottie of a doctor offering me an alternative, I’d at least be open to the idea. You’re so loyal to Seth, and I don’t really understand why, Ashley. Why should Seth make any movement toward commitment? You’re going to be around regardless. He knows that.”
    That’s not true , I protest silently. “I’m calling Brea,” I announce.
    â€œIt’s nine-thirty.”
    â€œShe’ll be up .” I dial my best friend’s number, anxious to hear about Seth’s phone call, and his plans for our romantic surprise party for me. She’s wide awake. It’s Bachelor night, and she’s watching bad reality television, reminding me there’s a reason I’m so petty. Brea and I are soul mates. “Hi, it’s me.”
    â€œHe’s getting ready to nix someone; is this important?” Brea is so into Bachelor.
    â€œUm, yeah! Tell John to Tivo it.”
    â€œGo ahead,” Brea moans. “I already Tivoed it.”
    â€œArin was here, she told me Kevin is still interested, but I think the truth of the matter is that she’s interested in Seth. She proceeded to flirt with him right in front of me and hitched a ride home. Then, Kevin showed up, looking as hot as ever I might add, and pretty much said Seth probably wouldn’t ever ask me to marry him.”
    I