Free Tough Love by Marcie Bridges

for anything more than a high school romance.
    Every now and then, Brendan called from Florida. It was always a shock to my system when I picked up the phone and heard his voice on the other end. At the same time, I was always happy to hear from him. Sure, it made the ache of his leaving worse, but there was something there that I still needed. It was almost like I had an affinity for the pain; I had to hold onto him somehow, and if reliving the hurt was the only way it would happen, then so be it.
    Sometime around March, I asked Mom her thoughts on me wearing a dress I already owned to Micah’s prom. After thinking it over for a few minutes, she said that a good seamstress would be able to think of something new that could be done with the old dress. We found a pattern that would be both beautiful and flattering and took it with us to the dress shop.
    The seamstress looked over what we brought and said I’d made a great choice. She took out her measuring tape and pincushion, and began to work her magic while I stood on the pedestal and tried to imagine what I would look like on prom night with Micah by my side.
    I was at the prom sitting under the thousands of lights that had been strung up. My date had gone to get us something to drink because “dancing makes me thirsty,” I’d said. I closed my eyes and swayed to the soft music of Boyz II Men singing End of the Road . I felt someone touch my elbow and looked up into Brendan’s deep brown eyes. As if it were the most natural thing in the world, I reached up to take his out stretched hand. He pulled me onto the dance floor, and we stood in an embrace as we swayed back and forth to the music.
    “Janessa!” my mother hollered, breaking me from the amazing vision. “You’re going to get stuck with a pin if you don’t hold still. What were you doing anyway? I called your name three times.”
    “Did you? Sorry. I was just dreaming about prom with Micah,” I lied.
    Even though I felt a pang of betrayal, I allowed my mind to wander back to the daydream I’d been having. Careful not to move with the music this time, I thought of another portion of the evening. Brendan and I were outside on the balcony, enjoying the sunset over the Maumee River. We could hear the music in the background, but we seemed to be in our own world, laughing at words I could not hear. But I didn’t need to hear them; I could tell that we were together and we were happy. As much as I wanted to be, I wasn’t sure that I was happy with Micah. He was a great guy, and my family liked him a lot but there was just something missing.
    We finished up at the dress shop and headed home. I put the thoughts of Brendan out of my mind for the time being. What was I doing anyway? Pretending that he still loved me? He had left me for two other people, two men . He had made his choice, and I had to live with that.
    I planned every detail and was ready to go when Micah arrived at my house on prom night. He looked so handsome in his traditional black tuxedo and fresh haircut.
    “You look amazing!” I told him with a smile.
    “And you are beautiful tonight.” He leaned in to give me a welcoming kiss. He opened a box to reveal a beautiful wrist corsage with two peach roses and five white carnations. I was beaming when he placed it on my right arm. Then I took the matching boutonnière and placed it on his left lapel.
    I led him into the house where my parents were waiting with the camera. We spent about thirty minutes taking all of the traditional pictures at my house before heading to his place to do the same. Then we were off to dinner.
    We headed to Mancy’s for dinner. The atmosphere was so nice – soft Italian music playing, lights down low and candles everywhere.
    Once we’d ordered and the waitress had brought our drinks and salads, I sat there wondering if I was ever going to be able to fall completely in love with him. I could keep this charade up for quite a while, but the last thing I wanted to do