Free 2 Heroes & Hooligans in Goose Pimple Junction by Amy Metz

wife?”
    “Yeah, she’s crazy about me.” He took a pull from his beer. “But I need my space, you know? I told her we need to separate a while and see what’s what. But she keeps whining for me to come over.” His voice changed to imitate a woman’s. “‘Lenny, come see me, Lenny, spend time with me.’ Shewee, that woman wears me out.”
    Cash snorted. “You must got something left. You pick up enough women over here.” He wiped a glass dry, set it down, and reached for another wet glass.
    “It’s always been that way, Cash. Women are drawn to me like flies to honey.”
    “Yeah, well, it seems like some men are, too. Two of them have been in here looking for you the past few nights.”
    Lenny had put the bottle up to his lips, but he pulled it away without drinking and set it on the bar. “What did you tell them?”
    “They didn’t look like the friendly type, so I told them I didn’t know you, hadn’t seen you, couldn’t help them.”
    “They hang around long?”
    “Oh, an hour or so each time. Saw them talking to some others. What’s working in your favor is that not many folks know you. I haven’t seen the dudes around in a day or so.”
    “Thanks, Cash. I owe you one.”
    “One? Shoot, you owe me two or three.” Cash took the glasses he’d dried between his fingers and turned to put them away.
    Lenny looked over his shoulder to check out the pickings for the night before sauntering to the jukebox again. He punched “I’ll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let’s Honeymoon Tonight” and walked to a table of four women.
    “Ladies! Each of you dolls pick a number between one and twenty. The one closest to the number up here”—he tapped his temple—”wins a dance with the Lenmeister.”
    All four women said in unison, “Zero.”
    One of them smiled sweetly and said, “But thank you kindly.”
    Walking back to his seat at the bar, Lenny’s eyes followed one of the waitresses as she weaved in between tables. She looked like Daisy Duke with her low-rider denim cutoff minishorts and her red blouse tied at her stomach. His eyes traveled up her body but pulled over to park when, from the toned, tanned skin between shirt and shorts, the glint of a diamond stud piercing caught his eye.
    “Need a Maker’s Mark, Cash,” the waitress said, leaning on the bar.
    Cash looked on the shelf behind the bar. “All out up here, Darlene. Go in the back and get me a bottle, would you?”
    She sauntered away, and as Lenny leered at her tramp stamp, Cash shook his head and said, “She has two speeds. Slow and stop.”
    “I bet I could rev her engine”. He looked around the room again. “Kinda slim pickins tonight.”
    “You’ve missed some, coming in so late,” Cash said, nodding to someone who’d just come through the door.
    Lenny looked at his watch. “It ain’t that late. S’only eleven o’clock.”
    “Just sit tight. Knowing you, somebody’ll be along.”
    “I don’t know. I got a mind to roll on over to Humdinger’s.”
    Darlene came back with a bottle of Maker’s Mark, breaking the red seal as she walked. Handing it to Cash she said, “I thought we just got a case of this stuff in.”
    “Did.”
    “Then how come there are four bottles missing already? I didn’t think we went through the stuff that fast.”
    “Don’t.” Cash looked at her blankly. “That is mighty strange.”
    Lenny was on his fourth beer when somebody took the barstool next to him. He looked over and saw a woman who looked to be in her sixties, but who was fairly well preserved. She was dressed a little young for her age in tight jeans that accentuated considerable thighs, and a green shirt that looked painted on, highlighting a few rolls of fat around her middle. She wasn’t fat, just aged. He thought she looked familiar, but he couldn’t place her.
    “Buy me a drink, sailor?”
    “I ain’t no sailor, but why not.” Lenny lifted a finger to Cash, who came toward them. “Gin and tonic.” Cash