Free Letting Go (Healing Hearts) by Michelle Sutton Page A

first?”
    Diane glanced at Katia’s hands reaching for hers. “Sure. Maybe that will help.”
    “Okay. Dear Father God, Diane needs strength and peace to share what’s on her heart. Fill her with Your power. In Jesus’s name. Amen.”
    Diane forced a smile as Katia gave her hands a gentle squeeze. The pinching sensation in her chest grew. She inhaled deeply and averted her gaze. When she exhaled, the words tumbled out of her mouth.
    “I tried to get Ken to sleep with me last month when I ran into him at a hotel. I was desperate and hurting. Now I realize it was a mistake to do that. But I only tried because I’d heard you’d broken up.”
    The hands gripping hers tightened but held on. Diane glanced up, fearing wrath, but glimpsed a compassionate smile tinged with sadness, which frightened her even more.
    “I know. Ken told me last night. He said he thought you might say something to me and he wanted me to hear it from him first.”
    “I’m glad he did. I’m so happy this didn’t come as a total shock to you.” Pulling her hands free, Diane wiped the sweat from her brow.
    “Oh, I wouldn’t say that it didn’t shock me. Ken said nothing happened between you two, but I still cried my eyes out when he told me. It really hurt, Diane. I thought we were friends.” She pressed her lips together and drew a long breath. “What neither of us understands is why you did it. Can you tell me? Maybe if I knew what you were thinking, then it would make more sense.”
    Diane wrapped her arms around her waist. “I thought I was pregnant. I went to Seattle for a conference, and when it ended I planned to tell my boyfriend about the baby. Before I had the chance to see him, I ran into a friend of his who didn’t know that I knew Randy. He showed me a picture of Randy with his wife. They had a baby girl. I was devastated, so since I’d heard that you two had broken up . . . well, I figured I . . . that I would try to sleep with Ken, and then maybe he would think the baby was his.”
    Katia stood unmoving, her mouth gaping.
    With the back of her hand, Diane brushed the tears from her cheeks. “I know it was awful of me to consider that, but I was desperate.”
    “It was definitely terrible. I’ll give you that.” Katia’s eyes glazed over.
    Diane choked out, “Ken’s a great guy, so I knew he wouldn’t abandon me and he would do the right thing. I just didn’t want to be a single mother. I’m so sorry.”
    “I think I understand. Of course I’ll forgive you, Diane. I admit I’m relieved Ken resisted you. He’s a man, and he was hurting from our breakup. You’re a very beautiful woman.”
    Katia offered her a tissue. Diane dabbed her eyes and blew her nose, trying to make sense of what she’d just heard. She rarely received compliments from women.
    “But you’re beautiful too.”
    “Thank you.” Katia touched Diane’s arm. “I’m sorry to hear about your surprise pregnancy. Is that why you ended up in the hospital?”
    “Yes . . . and no. I tried to kill myself by taking a bottle of Valium and some other pills. But it wasn’t the pregnancy that made me suicidal. I found out I was never actually pregnant. I have a tumor growing inside my uterus, not a baby, and the tumor might be malignant. I’ll need a hysterectomy to remove it, and even then there is no guarantee I won’t need additional treatment.”
    Katia stared, open mouthed again.
    “Shocking, isn’t it? It had me completely flipped out.”
    “Oh, my gosh. I’m so sorry.” Katia blinked back tears. “If there is anything I can do to help. Anything at all—”
    Diane held a shaky palm to her mouth. Overcome by the kindness in Katia’s tone, she burst into tears.
    Suddenly, Katia’s arms surrounded her, pulling her close. Such gentle arms. At first Diane felt awkward, and she stiffened, but eventually she relaxed as her friend’s embrace lingered. Gut-wrenching sobs welled up when she thought about the forgiveness Katia offered her. It