Free Letting Go (Healing Hearts) by Michelle Sutton Page B

was a gift she didn’t deserve. She didn’t understand such love. That knowledge humbled her.
    She could see why Ken loved Katia so much. She deserved a good man. A faithful man.
    Diane felt like a giant as she hugged her tiny friend. She rested her chin on Katia’s head. How could Katia comfort her when she had done something so obviously wrong? What did Katia have in her life that made her so secure?
    When her breathing relaxed, she gently pushed away. “I would hate me if I were you. I don’t understand how you can just let it all go.”
    “Jesus forgave me. He wants me to forgive you. I can love you because He first loved me. It’s only because of Jesus. Without Him in my life none of this would be possible.”
    “Jesus? I don’t get what you’re saying.”
    “I know it seems weird. I used to hate Him.”
    “Hate Him? Why would you hate Him?”
    “My parents were killed for being Christians. I was only seven, and I was hiding under the bed. I saw it all happen.” She shuddered. “We lived in East Berlin. My parents had emigrated from Russia with their families when they were children. When the Berlin Wall went up, my parents were living on the wrong side. At least it seemed so to me.”
    “Wow. And you couldn’t get out?”
    “Not without the risk of being shot and killed. We had nothing and lived in a tiny flat. The food coupons my parents received for our family didn’t go very far and what they did receive they often gave away. But my parents were always happy. I remember them telling me that doing the Lord’s work gave them hope and peace. I never understood it. Then again, I was only a child at the time.”
    “Do you remember what your parents looked like?”
    “Only my mother, and that’s because when I was smuggled out of East Berlin and brought to the United States, my aunt still had several pictures of my mother when they were young. I can’t remember my father’s face at all, though my aunt has told me that I look like him. I do remember sitting on his lap while he read me stories from the Bible before bedtime at night. But he had to do it in secret.”
    Diane frowned. “Why? I mean, I know from history about communism, but it just seems so unreal that the government would arrest people for something like that.”
    “People also turned up missing, never to be seen again. Since it was illegal to own a Bible, if you were caught reading one, you could be imprisoned, or worse.”
    “Worse?”
    “Yes. My parents believed that every person should have a Bible. They worked hard, smuggling them into the city from West Berlin to see that happen. But we had neighbors who spied on our family. I’m sure they are the ones who turned my parents in.”
    “You said your parents were killed. Were they caught?”
    “They were followed, yes. Then one night the German police stormed our flat. I hid under the bed because my mother made me. I could see the boots of the soldiers. One soldier stomped his cigarette out on the floor right near me. I almost started coughing. A few men started hurting my mother and my dad tried to protect her. They were both shot and left for dead. My mother was . . . pregnant.”
    Diane gasped. “Oh, how awful.”
    Katia nodded, a tear rolling down her cheek. “The baby died too, of course. I was so terrified I couldn’t move. When people finally came and found the bodies, they found me too. I couldn’t talk or even cry for almost a year. I suppose the trauma put me in a state of shock. I remember praying to Jesus for help when I hid under the bed. I prayed, begging Him to protect my parents. And they still died.”
    “Oh, that’s so sad.”
    “At the time I was so angry because God didn’t protect them. He let them die. Then my aunt died. Then my husband, and most recently my son’s nanny. So that’s why I hated Jesus. It seemed like everyone I ever loved was stolen from me. I blamed God for years and years. With each loss, I became more angry. I only recently