Free Jessica's Breakdown [Journey of a Thousand Miles 4] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) by Alicia White

more. He wants more,” a petite woman said, and Jessica nodded, stepping aside. Normally, she wouldn’t have done that. She would’ve wanted to stay in control of the seminar, but today, something was missing. She knew in her heart that she wasn’t totally in control. The best thing to do was to let the other woman take back her sub.
    Going to the table, Jessica started packing up her things. She wanted to get out of the club. She needed some space to think. Picking up her bag, she headed off the stage and out of the main room. Once she was out of the club, she leaned against the wall, dropping her bag to the floor. Taking deep breaths, she tried to calm down.

Chapter 7
     
    A gentle caress of her shoulder had Jessica standing straight and opening her eyes. She looked into Mark’s concerned face and felt guilty. She hadn’t meant to disappoint him, but she didn’t know what was happening to her. Maybe her time at Iron Gate was over. Maybe it was time to go home and do some soul searching.
    “Let’s go to my office and talk.” Mark held out his arm and Jessica took it, walking with him down the long hallway toward his office.
    It felt like she was headed to the principal’s office. She didn’t know what he was going to say, but she was disappointed in herself, so she wouldn’t be surprised if he was upset as well. She had tried to stay professional, to have fun and play out the scene, but she couldn’t seem to get out of her own head.
    When they finally reached his office, Jessica walked in and sat down in one of the chairs facing the huge maple desk. Sitting straight, she tried to appear as if nothing was wrong. She really didn’t want to have this conversation.
    “What’s going on?” Mark asked, sitting on his desk. Jessica already knew why he had asked her to come into his office. The seminar hadn’t been her best and it was because her heart wasn’t fully invested any longer. The whole time she was on stage, she kept wondering what was wrong with her. She felt lonely in a room filled with people and it made no sense.
    “I don’t know. My mind is somewhere else,” she admitted.
    “Who are you thinking about?” He stared at her and Jessica shook her head, laughing silently.
    “Am I that obvious?” She stared at him, wondering how he could read her so easily.
    “Only because I’ve been watching you for years and I consider you a friend.”
    She had spoken with Mark and Sean every time she came into town. The three of them had become friends and she still remembered wondering what it would be like to be their sub. Women came from around the country, hoping to get a chance to be with them.
    “I’m thinking about two Dom men that I’ll never really have a future with.” She decided to come clean and to be honest.
    “But you want to?”
    “Yes,” she whispered, feeling a bit vulnerable.
    “What’s wrong with submitting to someone else? Dominants often make excellent submissives. They know the rules of the game. Men submit to you all the time, women to me. The sub is the one in charge, you know that.”
    “I know. I don’t think there is anything wrong with submitting. I just don’t think that I can.”
    “Why?”
    “I don’t want to be tied down. I don’t like pain. I don’t want to be exposed like that.” Crossing her arms across her chest, Jessica leaned back in her chair, watching Mark and wondering what he thought.
    “Maybe you should give it a try before you disregard it.” He arched a brow.
    “I have.” Swallowing hard, Jessica tried to block that mental image from coming back. She had been so weak, so pathetic. She never wanted to be that woman again.
    “Tell me about it,” he coaxed.
    “I hated myself.” Shaking her head, she closed her mouth tight, not wanting to share any intimate details.
    “Everything you say is confidential. You can trust that, and I really think you need to talk about the past.”
    “It was a long time ago.” Cracking her knuckles, she