Free Rausch & Donlon - Can Be Murder 02 - Love Can Be Murder by Marilyn Rausch, Mary Donlon

her. The smell of new carpet and fresh paint assailed her nostrils as she walked over to the windows. The lights from the parking structure cast a dim, yellow light into the room. In the distance, she could see the storm clouds rolling in.
    An invisible band tightened across her chest as she dialed John’s number. A voice in her head insisted, Don’t answer. Please don’t answer.
    The phone rang two times before she heard his drowsy voice. “Hello, beautiful. Wasn’t sure you’d call.”
    Jo’s heart raced, but the tension in her chest eased a little. It had been a while since she’d heard that sleepy voice of his in her ear. It reminded her of waking up next to him, and she felt a weight in her stomach when she realized she might never wake up next to him again. “Sorry to call so late.”
    “That’s okay. I know you’re working a big case. I’m sure it’s hard to break away. How is it going?”
    “Ugly. Brutal. The only bright spot is that Detective Frisco is now a part of the St. Paul PD. It’s good to work with him again.” She gripped the phone tighter. “I … miss you, John.”
    She heard a heavy sigh on the other end of the phone. “I miss you, too. You have no idea how much I miss you.” In the intervening silence, Jo watched the first rain drops hit the window, blurring her reflection in the glass. The wind whipped the trees back and forth. It’s going to be a wicked night.
    She finally got up the nerve to speak again. “So, what are we going to do?” Jo held her breath, afraid of his response. Jo traced the trail of a lone raindrop gliding down the glass with her fingertip.
    “I don’t know. All I know is that this can’t go on. It’s tearing me up inside. I can’t see my life without you in it. But this half-life of broken plans, abbreviated calls … it doesn’t work for me.”
    “Me either.” A thunderclap outside startled her.
    She heard him blow out a puff of frustrated air. “Maybe we should take a break.”
    Jo sucked in a sharp breath. Her mind screamed, No!
    John quickly continued, “Just until you sort out this case. You can’t focus on your job when you’re thinking about us.”
    A crooked stitch of lightning appeared in the distance above the Minneapolis skyline and lit up the conference room. She knew John was still talking on the other end of the phone, but all she heard was a buzzing in her ears, as if she was underwater.
    Finally, his voice came through, “Jo? Are you still there?”
    She pushed the words over the lump that had formed in her throat. “Yes, I’m still here. You’re probably right. Maybe it’s for the best.”
    “Is this crazy? I don’t know. If I wasn’t so damned worried about you all the time … when I can’t see you, my mind naturally wanders to a worst-case scenario.”
    “No, you’re right. I get it. We’ll give it some time then.” She felt as if the floor was shifting beneath her. She just wanted to end this call and bury herself in the case. Anything not to feel this sharp pain in her chest. Even for a moment.
    “I’m sorry, Jo. You have no idea how sorry I am.”
    “Me, too. Goodbye, John.”
    After she clicked off her phone, she stumbled back to her cubicle. She sat there for several minutes, her whole body numb. She tried to get back into the rhythm of the case, but the momentum was gone. All she could think about was John. He said it was just a break, until the case was done. But it felt like the end of a play, not intermission. When this case was done, there would be another to take its place. What was going to really change?
    She looked around the office and was startled to discover she was the only one left. Everyone else had called it a night. Forget it. I’m not getting anything else done tonight. She printed off the information on the case in Baltimore and swept up her notes, shoving them in her briefcase. If inspiration struck at home, she could pick up where she left off. Jo knew she would not get any sleep