Free Pop Tarts: Omnibus Edition by Brian Lovestar Page B

timeline of his life, he would cease to exist!
    Anyway, it was
a sunny day and Felix Sr. went to spend the day at the beach to try
to forget about the whole thing.
    It was also the
day that Felix Jr. was meant to fall out with Holly again and
drunkenly sleep with Cherry - and despite temptation to the
quandary - Felix Sr. had decided to let history take its natural
course.
    Felix Jr. and
Holly had made up a couple of weeks ago, but things hadn’t really
been the same between them.
    Felix sensed
something was still wrong.
    “What’s up,
Holly?” he asked as they sat in a posh restaurant in cosmopolitan
Soho.
    Holly was
playing with ‘a little tree’ on the end of her fork. She still
called them that. She didn’t answer and nervously fiddled on, so
Felix asked again: “Holly?”
    “I fucked your
father!” she suddenly blurted out, unable to keep her dirty little
secret any longer.
    Felix threw his
glass of wine in her face and stormed out!
    He went to the
nearest pub and got drunk.
    Then he bumped
into Cherry, who was also a bit worse for wear, having just had a
run in with her mother at her own father’s funeral.
    They had a few
more drinks together before stumbling back to Felix’s apartment,
kissing each other hard and deep; and tearing each other’s clothes
off.
    “Let me rim,
you,” Cherry said in her drunken stupor, as she spun Felix around
and peeled off his skin tight denim.
    She saw the
Felix the Cat tattoo again. She’d forgotten about that.
    “You have the
same tattoo as your Dad!” she declared aloud.
    “What are you
talking about?” Felix asked through pants and gasps as Cherry put
her cat-rough tongue to work. “My Dad doesn’t have any
tattoos.”
    Cherry took her
tongue out Felix’s anus and wiped her lips.
    She was
confused.
    Felix was
confused as well.
    He pulled his
pants up and darted out of the apartment, hailed a taxi and headed
straight to Chichester. He wasn’t sure why but he felt inexplicably
drawn to his ‘father’.
    But in doing
so, the timeline had changed.
    Holly came home
to find Cherry not fucking Felix up the arse with a strap on
microphone and subsequently set off a chain of events unbeknown to
the history of their own mankind.
    When Felix got
to the B&B his ‘father’ was staying at, he was told he would
find him at West Wittering beach, so off he went.
    But when he got
there all he found was a pile of Felix Sr.’s clothes, crumpled in a
pile by the shoreline.
    Felix Sr. had
seemingly vanished into thin air.
    Then he noticed
something floating around in the shore and went over to pick it
up.
    It was the
plaster cast of a penis, looking much like the dildo Holly had
thrown out to sea in present day time.
    Felix dropped
it and it hit a rock and shattered into a thousand tiny pieces.
    He stood deep
in confusion, as the ashes contained within it were slowly washed
out to sea…

Chapter 25.
(Resurrection)

    Rhino and
Cherry were perplexed to say the least.
    They had as
good as accepted that Felix was gone for good.
    Rhino’s magic
was gone.
    He’d spoken to
the coven and they had refused to help. They claimed it was because
of his trickery and treachery; but Rhino was sure it had more to do
with the Queen Witch’s poodle Truffles’ dog suicide.
    Truffles had
walked into the path of a double decker bus following his lack of a
good recent hairstyle, after Rhino’s recent job switcheroo.
    No body was
found of course.
    But Cherry had
always had a sixth sense and could feel something wasn’t quite
right.
    They were both
most concerned, particularly with Holly Wood.
    Holly claimed
she had been burgled and that both the time-travel-enabling record
and her Felix’s-ashes-concealed dildo memorial had been stolen.
    So there was
literally no chance of getting him back from 1987 now.
    Little did they
know he had already vanished from then too…?
    The timeline
had changed and he appeared to have ceased to exist in present day
time.
    This was
getting just a little too