Free The Beastly Beatitudes of Balthazar B by J.P. Donleavy

adders in there, caught by sixty four."
    "Please let me out now."
    "Vow."
    "All right, I vow."
    "Vow to never bully again."
    "I vow."
    "Say it."
    "I vow to never bully again. Now let me out."
    "All right, but Masterdon, you better know I will fight you. And it will be worse for you because you are big and it will be awful for you if someone smaller gives you a thrashing."
    Balthazar unbolting the boiler room door. To hear Master-don's heavy breathing an arm away in the dark. Waiting for the grab of his hand. "Are there adders in there, fifty seven, turn on the light. I don't want to fight."
    "Yes, there are. In the shoe box."
    "God they could have got me. If they've escaped. You must be mad. I think you are thoroughly mad like sixty four."
    "I am not mad Masterdon. But you are a bully. And you do not find fear so amusing when it is you who is afraid."
    "You won't tell anyone about this."
    "I am not a tattle tale Masterdon."
    With the light on Masterdon searched and held down the adders with the furry end of a broom. Balthazar picked them up by the back of the neck and dropped them back in the box.
    The light brown slit eye and zig zagged yellow brown body and hissing little head as they curled to strike. And that night before lights out. Masterdon came padding across to Balthazar's bed. And handed him one of his tangerines.
    The day before the headmaster's speech and the next day's Christmas holiday departure, there was a letter placed upon Balthazar's bed. School trunks were being packed. A last feverish trading of uncherished treasures. And Balthazar sat and tore open the blue envelope postmarked Leighton Buzzard.
    My dearest Balthazar,
    I have the sorriest thing, for me at least, to have to write to you. My father who has not been well for some time has been taking a slow turn for the worse. My mother who has arthritis cannot look after him alone. And so I have written your mother that here I must stay. I did so much want to look after you again during the Christmas holidays in Paris. A new nannie, your mother tells me, has been engaged and I am sure she will be very nice. She will collect you from school and bring you back to Paris on the train.
    With all my dearest love always.
    Nannie
    The blue paper stretched between his fingers. And her large curled writing that leaned forward so that it might fall. As a drop went plop and another drop went plop and the ink lines went furry under the tears. Nannie's cool hand on warm nights on the English Channel shore where there were the shooting stars. And she said that when you die some people say you go down in the ground and others say you go up into the dark and blue. And if they do, go up into the dark and blue, that's why there is so much shoving and pushing between the stars.
    In the assembly room, the squealing of shifting chairs and gabbing voices that raised the roof. Seated along a side row the masters, each looking out in directions of their own worlds. And suddenly the assembly called to stand. At the entrance of Mr. Slouch. As a whisper went through the boys.
    "I am today, sadly, boys, deputising for the headmaster.
    Who sadly, has been called back again to Swindon, where I much regret to say, his father has now died. Let us all join here together now and say a short prayer. O Lord, we beseech thee mercifully to receive the prayers of thy people which call upon thee, and grant that they may both perceive and know what things they ought to do, and also may have grace and power faithfully to fulfill the same, through Jesus Christ our Lord Amen.'
    Slouch slowly rising on his toes and rocking back carefully on his heels. As he now bends forward casting a glance down his person, across his flies to his shoes and up again to the treacherous little lake of faces. His left hand rose to touch the red carnation in the buttonhole of his dark grey suit.
    "Your royal highnesses, my lords, commoners, and other boys from other lands. You all know the holy season approaches. Good will