Free Key Of Valor by Nora Roberts

feel it. And I don’t think I pulled myself out, the way some of you were able to. There wasn’t time for that. It was more like being somewhere, then closing your eyes for a second and being somewhere else.”
    â€œLet’s take them one at a time.” Flynn had already pulled out a notebook. “Swinging in a hammock.” He tapped the page. “Were you in your yard?”
    â€œNo. I don’t have a hammock. I’ve never actually lain around in a hammock in the shade with a pitcher of lemonade and a book. Who has the time? It’d be nice, and I was thinking about not having much breathing room over the next few weeks, then, pop, I’m swinging in a hammock and drinking lemonade.”
    She frowned, and didn’t notice the narrowed look from Brad. “I don’t know where I was. I don’t think it mattered, that’s what I’ve figured out thinking it over. It didn’t matter where the stupid hammock was, it was just symbolic of having nothing to do for an afternoon. Or, I guess, as long as I wanted to have nothing to do.”
    â€œI think you’re right,” Malory agreed. “He clicks into fantasies, lets us get a look at them, experience them. Mine, being an artist and married to Flynn. The perfect house, the perfect life.” She gestured across the table. “Dana’s, being alone on a tropical island without a care in the world. And for you, a lazy afternoon.”
    â€œPretty pitiful fantasy, compared to yours.” But Zoe smiled, relieved that her conclusion seemed valid.
    â€œBut he yanked you out of it, instead of giving you time to wallow,” Jordan pointed out. “Maybe he didn’t want to give you the chance to see it as false. Just give you a quick taste, then move on. A new strategy.”
    â€œI think that’s part of it. But, well, take the second part.That was my mother’s trailer, and God knows I swept up plenty in there. I recognized the way it looked, smelled, the way my brother and sister were arguing outside. But I don’t know how old I was. Was I the way I am now? Was I a kid? Somewhere between?”
    Thoughtfully, she shook her head. “What I mean is, I didn’t get a sense of myself, just the heat and the fatigue and the annoyance of it all. I just felt like this is all I ever do, clean up around this place, mind the children, and I’m so tired of it. I felt, you could say, particularly put upon and bitchy. I think it’s sort of symbolic, too.”
    â€œBeing trapped in a loop,” Brad supplied. “Always doing what needs to be done, and for somebody else, and never seeing an end to it.”
    â€œYes. Mama did her best, and she needed me to help out. But you get to feeling trapped. You get so you feel it’s not going to get any better, no matter what you do.”
    â€œSo you can lie around in a hammock and enjoy life, or you can sweat and run the same loop over and over.” Dana pursed her lips as she considered. “But those aren’t the only choices. It’s not that cut and dried. You’ve proven that yourself.”
    â€œSome people might look at my life and think I’m just running a different loop now. I don’t feel like that, but it could seem that way. Then there’s the third part.”
    â€œHe wanted to scare you,” Malory said.
    â€œOh, yeah, and boy, mission accomplished. It was cold, and I was alone. It wasn’t one of those pretty wonderland snows. It was vicious and mean, the kind that kills you. And I was so tired, the baby so heavy inside me. I just wanted to lie down somewhere and rest, but I knew I couldn’t. I’d die if I did, and if I died, the baby died.”
    Unconsciously, she pressed a hand to her belly, as if to protect what had lived there.
    â€œThen the contractions. I knew what they were, youremember that pretty quick. But this was meaner, it wasn’t progress. The way labor pains are.