Free My Immortal by Anastasia Dangerfield

either….I don't like
to be touched, in most places anymore. Compliments of being raped
and tortured here," he smiles sadly, not a full blown,
make-my-knees-week smile.
    "But those Guards were monsters…this is
just…me?" I whisper, not sure why I phrase it as a question.
    He shakes his head. "I don't understand it
either, Alexia. I'm trying to tell you that I am really messed up
now! I'm different! In a bad, bad way!"
    "Yes, and I still love you in a bad, bad
way!" I screech brokenly.
    He throws his hands up and squats down, head
in his hands, elbows on his knees.
    I hate that I blurted that out but I can't
take it back. Just something else for me to be guilty about, after
he just asked me not to make this harder on him, what did I do?
    I had to go and make it harder on him.
    "Do you want to know the ugly person I have
become, Alexia? Is it not enough that I was a half-ling?" He shakes
his head.
    "Well, since it obviously didn't deter you,
let me enlighten you on a few things that have happened since I was
just a half-ling confessing my love for an off-limits angel wed to
someone else: I have gotten addicted to Black Poison, I have been
raped and I have raped, I have fathered a score of children whom
did not make it because their mother could not have my blood, I did
not remember their mother's names nor did I really care, I have
been tortured, cut, burned, and injected with many different
things. I have also drank from slaves and windows and mates of
others. Now I have become some sort of freak weapon against the
Hell Horde, with evil powers like the monsters that you saw on the
way in. Truth is, I am not better than them, Alexia, I am way, way, way worse.
    Eyes wide, trying to absorb all of this
horrible information, a final tear curves a path down my dirt
stained cheek and in another blur of motion he's there, palm up,
catching my tear as it falls from my jaw.

    "…And someone as pure as you, should not be
spilling one single tear onto this dirty floor because of me. I'm
tainted, everything inside me is…dirty."
    I know he is right, but I just don't care.
Redemption is always an option.

Chapter Seven
    I watch him draw patterns into the dirt floor
out of the corner of my eye. He has been at it for quite sometime,
impossible to know how long though, without seeing the sun for time
or having a watch. He has erased it and started over a handful of
times and from what I can tell it looks like some kind of maze.
    "It's not a maze; it's a map of this place
from my memory."
    Ah.
    "Wow, how do you know it?"
    "I have been down here a long time and I paid
attention when they moved me around inside of it, hoping that one
day it would be useful for escape."
    "Wow, you have an amazing memory then," I
say.
    His drawing hand pauses and he glances at me
smirking.
    Even though he didn't remember me when I
finally found him.
    He sighs. I knew you were familiar, but I
had chosen to erase you from my memory…
    My stomach drops painfully as his words dawn
on me.
    … not because I wanted to forget you,
Alexia, it was for your own good! You're killing me here! How am I
supposed to save you when you won't let me!
    I scoff through mind-link, hoping I figured
out how to do it and rolled my eyes just in case he didn't get
it.
    A noise from Jezebel's direction draws our
attention to her and she is finally waking up. She rolls to her
stomach and pushes up with her hand until she is sitting on her
bottom with her back to the wall adjacent to us.
    I thought my day couldn't get any worse…and
that's what I get for thinking.
    Her eyes land on us with a look of confusion
in them and then in a split second her expression changes to
realization. Her eyes dart from me to Shadow, then to the proximity
between us, landing on me with an evil glare.
    Shadow clears his throat and her attention
leaves me for a second, thankfully. I really don't want to deal
with this right now. Her jealousy and my jealousy are just the
same. Plus, I couldn't deal if he