Free Emergency Room by Caroline B. Cooney

him in the street? Or the hospital bed?” Seth shook his head. “Kill him, I say.”
    “I think there are a couple people in the Waiting Room who have weapons to lend us.”
    “Heck, let’s just hire them. They probably need the money. What’s he worth to you, this father? I have enough cash to buy a candy bar. Or off the guy in Bed Eight.”
    “This is the sickest conversation I have ever had in my life,” said Diana. But she was giggling.
    “He’s sicker,” pointed out Seth.
    “You mean mentally,” said Diana, “but he’s also sick physically. That’s why he’s here.”
    “Let’s check out his next of kin,” said Seth. “This wife might be in the Waiting Room. What was her name, do you remember?”
    “Bunny.”
    “No way,” said Seth. “Nobody is named Bunny.”
    “It probably wasn’t her real name. It was probably a nickname. Her real name was probably Gertrude or something. But I don’t necessarily want to do anything, Seth.”
    “You think this patient could be your biological father and you’re not sure whether you’re going to talk to the guy or introduce yourself or anything?” Seth was dying to know, and it wasn’t his father!
    “What would I say?” Diana asked him.
    “How about, ‘Hi, I’m your daughter Diana, who you haven’t seen in fifteen years, and I have a lethal dose of poison for you.’?”
    “Stop that! You pervert! I don’t want him to die. I want…”
    Her voice drifted off. She didn’t know what she wanted.
    Seth knew what he wanted. Diana. She might just be the prettiest girl at the entire college. Although that medical student was in the running for prettiest girl at the hospital.
    He knew he shouldn’t say girl. He should say woman. But he didn’t like saying woman because it sounded too competitive. Girl sounded more controllable. Then he hated himself for wanting to control Diana. She would certainly hate him for it.
    “How can I help?” said Seth. There. Success. Just the voice he wanted. Sexy, but comforting. He tightened the arm that was lying on her shoulder, in what he hoped would be a friendly fashion.
    She took the hand off, as if it were a scarf, and like a scarf twisted his fingers around hers. He liked it. Her hands were cool and smooth and her fingernails felt neat, glossy clear polish sliding against his skin.
    “Oh, Volunteer?” said Meggie, having actually left her desk and walked around to find them. Meggie was not fond of exercise, and leaving her swivel chair was an awesome amount of activity for her.
    Seth opened his mouth to tell Meggie he was busy, but she saw the words coming. “Busy, huh? Typical. You college kids come down here, show off a little, try to rack up points with your professors, do good, that kind of crap. And then you —”
    “What do you need?” interrupted Seth. “Name it, we do it. Seth — and/or Diana — at your service!” He gave her his biggest, finest grin but Meggie simply looked at Diana.
    Meggie hated Diana, it was in her eyes. Seth all but shivered. What’s that about? he thought.
    It never crossed his mind that it was about him.
    “They need that guy’s paperwork,” Meggie said to Diana.
    Seth whipped the insurance sheet out of Diana’s hand and bowed to her. “I shall accomplish this task,” he said in his knight-in-shining-armor voice. He could hardly wait to stare down Bed Eight. Check out what kind of guy —
    “What do you think you’re doing!” hissed Diana, ripping the sheet right back out of his hand. “I’ll thank you not to interfere in my life. Or his either! Who do you think you are, you arrogant future doctor, you?”
    Seth stared at her. “I was just helping,” he protested.
    “It’s my own fault for saying a single thing to you,” said Diana, furiously, and he thought how grand she looked — really regal — in her rage. Not whiny, not minor, but immense, as if Diana’s fury could blow the walls down.
    “Stop smiling!” shouted Diana. “It is so sick the way