Free Septimity and The Blood Brotherhood: The Third Hilarious Glothic Tale (The Glothic Tales Book 3) by Derek Haines

and six half breeds.’
    ‘Oh, I’d forgotten about them.’
    ‘So you know what this is all about? I must admit I never knew there were Erdeans on Lacertilian.’
    ‘Long story,’ Sep started. ‘But good news that they’re on their way back home. Best place for them, don’t you agree?’
    ‘Probably. Anyway, I’ll leave that up to you. You can liaise with my co-pilot about that. Let him know what you want to do and when.’
    ‘Thank you. I will.’
    ‘Ah! Here we are. Frozen rib eye of CirdleTirdle.’
    ‘Never heard of it,’ Sep replied.
    ‘Oh very tasty and very expensive. CirdleTirdles are a large beast found only on Neptra Minor, a banana shaped moon in Sun System Six. They’re the only eight legged mammal in the universe and very rare. Almost extinct I believe.’
    ‘So what does it taste like?’
    ‘Beef.’
    ‘Hardly sounds worth the effort to go and kill one then.’
    ‘When you can charge a year’s salary for one small thinly sliced entrecote, it is.’
    ‘For the rich and famous then?’
    ‘No. For the super-filthy rich and famous.’
    ‘Take your point. Money is no object, so why not kill off the most unique beast in the whole known universe.’
    ‘Always been the same, hasn’t it?’
    ‘Sadly, yes. I think I’ll just tell September that it’s beef.’
    ‘Alright then. I’d better get back. You all ok with this?’
    ‘Yes. Thank you Lieutenant Commander Smikkle.’
    ‘Oh please. Just call me Stik.’
    ‘Very well Stik. Everyone calls me Sep. After lunch, I’ll see the guards. Hopefully we’ll all be out of your hair by mid-afternoon.’
    *****
    ‘What is it?’
    ‘Beef.’
    ‘Are you sure?’
    ‘I thought you were hungry.’
    ‘Alright, alright.’
    ‘Now we need to get a few things organised,’ Sep said as they began eating their lunch.
    ‘Such as?’
    ‘The Lacertilian guards need orders. One squad will be coming with us on our shuttle, but where do you want the other three squads?’
    ‘Yes. And?’
    ‘And a Lacertilian passenger craft left Lacertilian two days ago and will rendezvous with us quite soon.’
    ‘Oh yes. Why?’
    ‘It’s carrying four hundred and twenty-one Erdeans and six half breeds that have been held on Lacertilian.’
    ‘Who organised that?’
    ‘I did.’
    ‘Why?’
    ‘To fulfil my duty to Ichor. To return every Erdean gene to Erde and cleanse the Glothic Empire.’
    ‘Very noble Sep. Very noble.’
    ‘Thank you September. I knew you would approve.’
    ‘I don’t. You should’ve waited. If anything goes wrong today, you’ll have four hundred more damn Erdeans on Gloth.’
    ‘No Sep. I’m going to have them transferred onto here and have Lieutenant Commander Stikkly Smikkle return them to Erde on his way back to his base on Lacertilian.’
    ‘So you do have a plan then?’
    ‘Of course Sep. It’s simple. Nothing can go wrong.’
    ‘Where have I heard that before young Sep?’
    *****
    ‘Good afternoon gentlemen,’ Sep started as he addressed the Lacertilian guards and then began rambling on about Ichor, the return of a Glothian to rule over the Twelve Sun Systems of Gloth and how nice it was of the Lacertilians to be on his side of the fence and how Lacertilian pilots should be returned to the service of the Supreme Potentate. Failing to notice, which was one of Sep’s special qualities, he rambled on as half of the Lacertilian guards either went glassy eyed, or fell asleep due to abject boredom. ‘I must also express my gratitude to the people of Lacertilian for generously taking care of the many stray Erdeans that have indecently, accidently or coincidently wandered around the universe and gotten themselves horribly lost. Wing Commander, retired, Inna Jjiphii has been of great assistance and although he isn’t here to thank in person, I do wish to make it known that I am forever indebted to him for his cooperation,’ Sep said but then lost his concentration as the rumblings of snoring from a few of the Lacertilian guards