Free Wrestling With Desire by D.H. Starr Page A

Link Larkin..." Beck had landed the lead role of Tracy Turnblad in the winter musical, Hairspray . Derek was relieved. If the lead had gone to Malinda, his life would have taken an abrupt and significant turn for the worse having to deal with Beck's morose outbursts at the injustices of life itself.
    "And you so wish that it was really Zac Efron who you got to kiss and smooch and grind against on the dance floor instead of Bryce. We know, you have told us this every day at lunch for the past month." Derek rolled his eyes and patted her arm.
    Beck remained still, mouth partially open, then closed her mouth abruptly, tilted her head to the side as she considered how to react, and snapped her head back towards Derek.
    "Babe, I love you more than my left tit, but if you interrupt me one more time when I am talking about my rehearsals I'm gonna—"
    72

    Wrestling With Desire
    by D.H. Starr
    "Rip his nuts off, roll them into perfect spheres, and use them for golf practice?" Scott suggested. Both Beck and Derek's eyes shot across the table at Scott, their mouths twin images of shock. "What?" Scott asked. "You were going to say something like that right?"
    Beck's shock turned into a wide grin. "No, I was going to use them as paper weights, but I like your idea much better."
    All three of them laughed.
    Walking back to their lockers, Scott and Beck were talking as Derek followed them thinking. He had always loved routines. They were safe and easy to hide behind. People came to expect that things would happen a certain way each day. Any variation drew attention and Derek hated attention.
    But wanting to figure Scott out, wanting to make sense of the small things he had noticed about Scott that hinted that he could maybe feel the same way, made the routines torturous.
    Derek felt the answers pulling further and further away the more entrenched the patterns of the days became. Something had to change. He had to break the pattern or he would never get the answers he so desperately needed.

    * * * *
After school, Derek changed into his running clothes and contemplated which route he would take. On his own today, Derek opted for a long run and headed west. He decided to run two bridges towards Brighton, cross over to the other side of the river, then run to the Foot Bridge and finish back at school. It only added another three miles to the run, but he felt like he needed the extra time so he could think.
    73

    Wrestling With Desire
    by D.H. Starr
    Derek could see that his wrestling teammates were impressed by Scott and had high hopes that he may be just what the team needed to take division this year. Oddly, on the days that Scott went to work out with Josh and Power, Derek felt no jealousy or resentment. He was glad that Scott was bonding with the members of the team and he knew, from their frequent conversations, that Scott spent a lot of time alone at home. Perhaps it was because they shared two classes, had lunch together every day, and went running often enough after school, that he didn't feel jealous.
    Man, I sound like a girl when I think like this. Derek reprimanded himself and picked up his pace to drum out his obsessive thinking. Pacing his breathing, he focused on the thrum of his feet as they connected with the sidewalk. He ran mindlessly for about ten minutes, watching the rowers on the river practicing for the Charles Regatta.
    The day was unseasonably warm, and there were people littered about on the bank of the river listening to music or eating. A few kids were tossing a Frisbee, and a little boy was throwing a stick for his dog to fetch and retrieve. A couple was sitting on a blanket by the water's edge. They were sitting side by side, both staring at the water, their fingers intertwined on the ground between them. The man leaned over and kissed the woman on the cheek and she turned in response to kiss him on the lips.
    His dream where Scott had kissed him played in his mind.
    Sometimes it was triggered by something like