Free Rebel Rockstar by Marci Fawn

the biggest rooms on the ship, but that doesn’t stop it from feeling really constrictive at times. And this is one of the worst ones of all.
    I hate having no control over a situation, and right now I really don’t have any. Tonya has screwed things up, and now the ball is firmly in Jem’s court. I’ll just have to wait until she’s ready to speak to me, but patience has never been one of my strong suits. I’ve messed things up badly with her, and I’m terrified that there’s no going back from it. I’m scared that I’ll be waiting forever.
    “I like to keep track of which skanks my ex-boyfriend is sleeping with now. It’s fun to keep tabs on him.”
    Tonya’s evil words—plus her insinuation that we had some sort of crazy, sex-based relationship—keep rolling over and over in my mind. How could she do that to me? What the hell does she think she’s going to achieve? Is she crazy enough to think I’ll go back to her if things don’t work out with Jem?
    Knock, knock.
    Someone knocks so lightly on my door that had I not been awake, I wouldn’t have heard it. In fact, I’m not convinced that it wasn’t just a product of my imagination. I’m so desperate to see Jem that I might have just invented the sound in my mind…
    Knock, knock.
    Nope, there it goes again. Someone is here. I just hope it’s the right someone.
    “Who’s there?” I call out quietly, crossing my fingers behind my back. “What do you want?”
    “It’s Jem.” The almost scared-sounding reply comes through the door. “Can I come in? Can we talk?”
    Oh, thank God. She’s here. All hope isn’t completely lost.
    “Of course.” I swing the door open, wondering if she actually thought I was going to refuse her entry. I’m the one desperate to speak to her, after all! But as she steps into my room, it’s clear from the incredibly nervous and unsure expression she’s wearing that she’s struggling with what I want just as much as I am with what she wants. Guilt courses through my veins at the thought that this is all my fault.
    “I’m sorry for running off like that,” she eventually begins, twiddling her fingers anxiously. “It was just a bit of a shock.” I step forward, grabbing her hands in mine, praying that she can see the guilt I’m feeling plastered across my expression. I need her to understand the depths of it, to see how bad I feel. “I just…”
    “No, no.” I stop her from speaking. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I should never have been so stupid. You were always going to find out, which I’m pretty sure Tonya was banking on. I should never have let it get so far…”
    “It doesn’t matter now,” she announces, preventing my rant from going on any further. “I was taken by surprise, but to be honest I kind of knew. I had already heard rumors in the past. I guess having it confirmed threw me.”
    “Right…” Oh, God, that makes me feel about a million times worse. She already knew and she didn’t think to ever ask me? What sort of pig am I? “So, did you want to talk?”
    But instead of saying another word, she crashes her lips against mine, sending excited fireworks exploding all over my body all over again. I instantly pull her closer to me, wanting to feel that tiny, familiar frame pushed up against my body. When she’s here, in my arms, showing me affection, everything feels right with the world. It’s as if nothing else matters, and that’s a feeling that I never want to let go of. I can forget all of my bad feelings, all the crappy things I’ve done, and I can just be Nate. The Nate that Jem needs me to be.
    The kiss deepens in a way that it has only once before, and that led to our breakup, so I can’t help but freak out just a little. I pull back to stare at her face, but the look she’s giving me isn’t one that’s about to leave. Her look tells me that she wants to stay…and finally wants to take things a whole lot further.
    Somehow, despite all that’s happened tonight,