Free Beautiful Monster by Kate McCaffrey Page A

awesome.’
    She smiles at him. ‘I’m glad I did too. Here, this is me.’ They stop in front of her letter box. ‘Thanks for inviting me out. It was great.’
    â€˜No worries.’ He makes to leave and then turns back. ‘Tess?’
    He bends down to kiss her. She can’t help but kiss him back.
    â€˜You’re so tiny,’ he says admiringly.
    She nods, her breath taken away by his kiss. He is so hot and it sounds like he’s inviting her out again. Despite feeling guilty, she can’t wait.
    Miss McLoughlin hands back her paper. ‘I’d like to see you at the end of class,’ she says softly. Terror grips Tess’s gut. Why? She scans the paper. It’s a C. Embarrassed, she shoves it into her file.
    At the end of the lesson she stays at her desk. Miss McLoughlin sits on the one in front. ‘Are you disappointed with that mark, Tess?’
    Tess nods but can’t look up. Disappointed isn’t the half of it. Just when things were going well—tennis and Jordan, her mum and dad, Ned sensing her need for space and giving it to her. And now this. A fail. She can’t bear it. Why can’t everything be perfect?
    â€˜I’m worried that your analysis isn’t as strong as it used to be,’ Miss McLoughlin says. ‘You seem to have lost the edge you used to have.’
    The shame burns deep inside her.
    â€˜Are you too busy doing other things?’
    Tess can’t speak for the humiliation she feels. ‘No,’ she begins, ‘I thought I did well on this topic.’
    â€˜It’s not bad,’ her teacher says gently, ‘but not your usual calibre. I can go through it with you if you like.’
    Tess shakes her head. ‘Thanks, but I’ve got tennis, so I can’t hang around.’
    At tennis she can’t concentrate on the ball and misses easy shots. Jordan watches her from the sidelines, puzzled. ‘Hey,’ he says after her game—a 3–0 loss—‘what’s going on? You okay?’
    She nods. ‘Just off today.’
    â€˜Can’t be a winner every time,’ he says, putting an arm around her. ‘Coming out?’
    â€˜I can’t tonight. I’ve gotta get home.’
    He looks disappointed.
    â€˜Sorry, next time, I promise.’
    He smiles, looks like he wants to kiss her, but she pulls away. She’s sure she senses Ned lurking around.
    On her way home she is dejected and let down. How could she have done that to herself? Getting a C grade—she can’t remember the last time she scored so badly. And the tennis. Total loser. And this thing with Jordan—what about Ned, the one who truly loves her? She totally hates herself.
    She hears him coming up behind, and he drops in next to her. He’s quiet for a while. She glances at him but says nothing. Finally he speaks.
    â€˜So what’s happening? I’ve stayed away. Waited for you to talk to me. How come you don’t speak to me anymore?’
    She shrugs; she doesn’t know what to say.
    â€˜We used to talk about everything. It feels like you don’t trust me anymore. Not good enough for you and your tennis mates, then?’ He sounds hurt.
    She looks at him and can’t bear the pain she hears in his voice ‘No, it’s not that. I’ve just been doing other stuff.’
    â€˜Saw you with that guy. What’s that about? Should I be jealous?’
    He’s getting angry. She doesn’t want him to get mad. When he gets mad he gets vicious.
    â€˜No, Ned,’ she lies, instantly trying to placate him. ‘He’s my tennis partner, that’s all. Nothing’s happening.’
    â€˜I couldn’t stand it if you left me, Tess. You mean too much to me. You know that. I will love you more than anyone else. Ever.’
    The fervour in his voice frightens her. He makes it sound like a death pact.
    â€˜Nobody, nothing in this whole world could ever take your