Free Ivanov by ANTON CHEKHOV

else. But on my word of honour, I’m going to go ahead with it. I’ve told Borkin he can announce my engagement. ( Laughs. )I can be just as rotten as the rest of them!
    Lebedev If you go on like this they’ll lock you up with the loonies.
    Shabelsky The loony bin can’t be any worse than this place. Take me to it, you’ll be doing me a favour. What a bunch of third-rate, small-minded dolts, and I’m as bad or worse, I’ve stopped believing a word Isay . . .
    Lebedev Why don’t you just set fire to a mouthful of meths and blow it in their faces? Alternatively, get your hat and go home. There’s a wedding going on here, everybody’s enjoying themselves, and you’re going around cawing like a crow. Or –
    Shabelsky drapes himself over the piano and sobs.
    Oh, Lord . . . what’s up, Matvey? . . . Count! . . . What’s the matter? Matyushka, dear fellow, my angel – was itsomething I said? You mustn’t mind an old soak like me. Drink some water . . .
    Shabelsky No.
    Lebedev What are you crying about?
    Shabelsky It’s really nothing . . .
    Lebedev Don’t fib, Matty – tell me what it is.
    Shabelsky I looked at this cello just now and it reminded me of that little Jewess.
    Lebedev Honestly, what a time to bring her up. May she rest in peace in Abraham’s bosom, but this isn’t the time or place –
    Sasha starts sobbing.
    Shabelsky We used to play duets together. A good and lovely woman.
    Lebedev ( to Sasha )Not you too! Oh, please stop crying. Oh God, now they’re both howling. What should I . . .? At least go somewhere you won’t be seen by the wedding guests.
    Shabelsky Pasha, one can be happy in a graveyard when the sun shines. While there’s hope, being old doesn’t matter. But I have nothing to hope for, not a single thing.
    Lebedev Yes, you’re right about that. No children, no money, no prospects . . . but what’s to be done? ( To Sasha. )And what’s your problem?
    Shabelsky Pasha, give me some money. I’ll pay you back in the next world. I want to go to Paris.
    Lebedev ( appalled )You want to go to Paris?
    Shabelsky To visit my wife’s grave. I’ve a right to ask – I’ve given to others in my life – gave away half my property. Anyway, we’re friends, aren’t we?
    Lebedev ( embarrassed )Honestly, I haven’t got a kopek. Well, look, all right, all right – no promises, mind, but . . . Oh, all right, then . . .! ( To himself. )They’ve all worn me down.
    Babakina enters.
    Babakina Where’s my cavalier got to? Count, how could you leave me alone! Oh, you naughty man!
    She whacks the Count on his hand with her fan.
    Shabelsky Go away! You disgust me!
    Babakina ( taken aback )What?
    Shabelsky Leave me alone!
    Babakina ( sinks into an armchair )Oh!
    She bursts into tears.
    Zinaida ( enters, sobbing )The best man’s on his way – the time has come . . .
    Sasha ( sobbing )Mama!
    Lebedev Now it’s a quartet. Oh do stop, you’re making everything damp. Matvey . . .! ( Sobs. )Oh Lord, now you’ve got me at it.
    Zinaida ( sobbing )If you don’t want your mother any more and won’t obey her, I’ll do as you wish – have my blessing . . .
    Enter Ivanov in a tailcoat and gloves.
    Lebedev That’s all we need. What do you want?
    Sasha What are you doing here?
    Ivanov Please excuse me, everyone, but I need to talk to Sasha in private.
    Lebedev You’re well out of order – seeing the bride before the wedding! You’re supposed to be on your way to church.
    Ivanov Pasha – I implore you . . .
    Lebedev shrugs his shoulders and goes out, with Zinaida, the Count and Babakina.
    Sasha ( sternly )Well?
    Ivanov I’m boiling with anger but I’ll try to stay calm. Listen. I was just getting myself ready for the wedding, I looked in the mirror and I saw . . . grey hairs. My temples were grey. Sasha . . . You don’t have to go through with this! Let’s put a stop to this farce while there’s still time. You’re so nice and so young, you have your whole life before you, not like me . . .
    Sasha