Free My Former Self by C. T. Musca

Instead it is Cort.
    Hi Tonya. It’s Cort, from the other night. I hope you don’t mind I got your number from your friend Debra. I am not really sure what happened there on the dance floor, but I was hoping we could meet up to talk about it. I am sorry if I offended you in any way. My number is 613-555-1343. Please gimme a call.
    I erase the message and go to bed.

Fall 1989
    A fter we got back from Trout Lake, it seemed like the summer was over, even though we had a week and a half left before we had to go back to school. Jeremy left the following weekend and, like always, the house felt empty. Sandy started seventh grade in a new school, and she liked her new teachers. Mom thought that maybe Sandy was starting to mature a little and wouldn’t be getting into trouble. She got her first bra, had her first period, and started shaving all within a matter of weeks. Mom was a little sad, saying “my baby’s growing up”, but I sensed a bit of relief too.
    As soon as I got home from the cottage, I called Amanda to hear what had been going on while I was away. Evidently, not much. Dan blew her off, which Isort of knew would happen. She had been pretty upset. She wrote me pages and pages, but didn’t send them because she knew I’d be home before they’d arrive. She eventually gave them to me—all twenty pages—and there was a lot of anger and resentment. I felt bad that I couldn’t be there for her.
    I was too nervous to call Shane so I decided to wait until school started to talk to him.
    School started as it always did. The weather seemed to change overnight and our wardrobes moved from shorts and tank tops to pants and sweaters. We got our schedules on the first day and I was in most of Kaitlyn’s classes. Amanda’s first semester was totally different from ours, but she was okay with it.
    The hallways seem much more crowded than last year, but I am not sure why; we were told there aren’t as many students enrolled this year. It’s entertaining to see the new couples that emerge after a dance, which took place on our second week back in September. Boys walk their new girlfriends to class. They hold hands and then stop and kiss outside the classroom until a teacher tells them to move on. I want to be this way with Shane, but right now it seems almost impossible. I have only had one real boyfriend before, and that was in eighth grade. I am not sure if it can be considered real because we never actually kissed. He asked me to be his girlfriend, I said yes, and then we pretty much ignored each otherto avoid awkward encounters. We never broke it off, so technically, I guess we’re still going out.

    Now it’s almost Thanksgiving and we are all used to our classes and teachers. I am really enjoying English and Phys. Ed, but hating Science. Our Science teacher is a nice enough person, but he doesn’t really
teach
anything. We have to use the book to learn the lessons and answer questions. One time, Greg wrote random details about his weekend in the middle of his lab report, and Mr. Sandall didn’t even notice! Regardless of this, I am still struggling to get good grades in this class, and I am barely passing the tests. Kaitlyn helps me out whenever we have homework; she is so good in school.
    In English we are reading
Lord of the Flies
, which has to be the greatest school book I’ve ever read. Before we started it, our teacher had us discuss what would happen if we got snowed in at school with no adults here. He really got us thinking about cliques and power struggles. I was so enthralled that I couldn’t wait to start reading the book. Now we are almost done, and I’m anxious to see if the boys get rescued or not. Our next book is called
The Chrysalids
. Jeremy tells me it is very boring, so I am kind of dreading it.
    Phys. Ed. is my other favourite class, although our teacher is very annoying. I think she should be a guy or something—she’s tough and loud and expects us all tobe athletes. I do well in the