Free Circus Solace by Chris Castle

tight and close to choking.
    “Nothing to thank us for,” Lucas said in a quiet voice. Outside, it was dusk and shadows were beginning to stretch along the fields and trees. He glanced around the room, settling on Matt last of all.
    “We just have to make sure we use it,” he said, with an edge in his voice. “All of it.”
                                              *
    The next morning, Matt woke with his head still swimming from the contents of the four boxes. He heard Pa moving around downstairs and saw it was just past dawn. It didn’t matter, somehow; the adventure gave Matt a drive he had never known before. As he drew back the curtains, he saw Lucas wandering over from the fields, to the other side of the house and a tired old car rumble to a stop around the driveway. The feeling of things moving forward, of momentum, ran through Matt’s body like a spike of pure energy.
    “We’re getting the band back together,” Lucas said , as he poured milk into his coffee. For a second his palm turned pure white and then it subsided as he settled his fingers around the mug. “We’ve got someone who can track down the ones who left and we can speak to the sons and daughters of the others.”
    “A lot of it stays in the genes through the generations,” Marcus said, as way of explanation. “Things like balance and co-ordination stays in the blood, you see?”
    “We can do all of this in a matter of days, with any luck,” Lucas said. “I think that those who left might have stayed close-by because they couldn’t bear to be too far away from the town. One or two, sure they would have headed for the hills, but a lot of them will have stayed.” Matt watched as Lucas’ eyes flared with excitement. For the first time, it dawned on him that Lucas must be old, maybe very old but there was nothing in him that suggested age. Sometimes, when he latched onto something, he looked more like someone Matt might know, a friend’s older, cooler cousin.
    “I kept a notebook of everyone involved,” Marcus cut in and Matt almost smiled at the way they were becoming almost a double act; the voice of reason in one and the bouncing ideas of the other. The plan was almost coming alive in-front of their eyes. Matt turned round to look for the same excitement in Pa. Instead, he wore a look of concern, even anger and in the moment before he spoke, Matt understood why.
    “Who is going to replace my wife in all this?” he asked. His voice was low but there was a force to it. Like Matt, he hadn’t realised how much she had been involved and actually performed in the show. They had both wrongly guessed she had been behind the scenes, organising and cajoling but never centre stage in the way she clearly had been.
    “No-one will replace her,” Marcus said. His voice was gentle and he reached over and put his hand over Pa’s clenched fist.
    “It would be impossible,” Lucas went on, taking Matt’s hand in his own.
    “We will make a show for them both, a tribute,” Marcus went on.
    “Something that will make folk s remember what they once had; remember but never better, never eclipse…” Lucas finished, squeezing Matt’s hand. 
    “We might want you to say a few words to honour The Gent and his family,” Marcus said, still looking to Pa. “If you would like…it’s up to you.”   
    “Do we have a date?” Pa asked. He was taking on the role of the organiser now, whether he wanted it or not.
    “If we do it on the last day of the month it would be the anniversary of the last show,” Marcus said and braced himself for Lucas’ reaction, which was immediate.
    “A month?” he said and almost laughed. “To get it set up in three weeks…”
    “A month,” Pa said and Lucas’ voice fell away. “If it’s an anniversary then it will mean more. It’ll be a good thing, doing it on that day.” He turned and looked over to Matt. “Right?”
    “Right,” Matt agreed and a flicker of a