Free Taming Lo: A You and I Novel by Melissa Toppen

seat before facing him
again. “How was your first weekend?” I ask, not really
sure what else to say.
    “ Productive.”
He nods, his face barely visible under the dim parking lot lighting.
    “ That's
good.” I let out a sigh, feeling the heavy tension settle over
us. “Look.” I tack on, waiting until he finally meets my
gaze before continuing. “I don't know what I did to upset you
but whatever it is, I'm sorry.” I say. It's not in my nature to
tip toe around things and I can't start now.
    “ I
don't know what you mean.” He says, his voice suddenly tight.
    “ I
think you know exactly what I mean.” My tone turns sharp.
“Look, if you changed your mind about being my friend, that's
cool. But at least be man enough to just say so and not avoid me like
we are in high school.”
    “ I'm
not avoiding you Lo. I've just been really busy is all. Some of us
have actual responsibilities here.” He says, his voice clipped.
    “ Opposed
to what I do?” I ask, trying not to let the insult I feel show
through in my words.
    “ I
didn't mean it like that.” He starts, just as I turn away from
him and slide into my car.
    “ I
think you meant it exactly like that.” I snap, looking up at
him from the open car door. “Just remember, you were the one
that suggested we be friends, not me. No sweat off my back.” I
snap, shutting the door and jamming my key into the ignition.
    He is still standing just feet from my car when I throw
it into drive and peel out of the parking lot, not bothering to look
in his direction again. I am so mad, furious even. And yet, I really
don't know why. Why do I care so much? Why am I so offended by his
choice of words when far greater insults from others have not even
phased me?
    My confusion over the anger I feel only makes me that
much angrier and I find myself whipping through the empty city
streets much faster than I normally would. The more distance I put
between me and that man, the better.

Chapter
Thirteen

    Dax

    “ Fuck.” I
collapse down on my black leather couch and look around my new
apartment. I have been moving in over the course of the last two days
and finally just carried my last load of boxes up.
    Now that everything is actually up here, I just need to
find the time to sort through it all and put it away. Boxes line
every corner of the main living area and my bedroom is even worse. If
I don't get in there and work on getting some of that shit put away,
it's likely I won't be able to even get to my bed to sleep in it
tonight.
    I take a long drink of my beer and then rest the cold
bottle across my sweaty forehead. Letting out a slow exhale, I lower
the bottle and drop my head onto the back of the couch, just needing
to close my eyes for a moment. The second I do, my mind immediately
drifts to Lo.
    I thought it would be easier, pushing her away. I knew I
couldn't trust myself around her when I had to physically force
myself to walk out of her apartment rather than stay and watch her
sleep. What the fuck is wrong with me? Who wants to watch a woman
sleep? It is the most ridiculous thing to me and yet, it's exactly
what I wanted to do.
    I found myself thinking about her way more than I
fucking liked. Even the feeling of another woman wrapped tightly
around me didn't have the power to wipe her from my mind. The harder
I fucked the girl, the more I wished she was Lo. I fucking hated
myself after that. I hate how I've treated her since then even more.
I just don't see another way. I just need a little distance, a little
time to get my shit straight before I make any effort to apologize.
    It's just...... I made myself a promise a long time ago.
A promise that I can't break for anyone. Lo stirs something deep
inside of me. I can't explain it, but when I look at her, when she
smiles, something in me just shifts. I feel things I didn't know I
could feel anymore and the thought sends a tight panic running
through my chest.
    I can't go back to the person I used to be. Fucking
pussy