Free Until My Heart Stops Beating by Tonya M Barber

“Ready?”
                  With questioning eyes he asked, “You didn’t bring an overnight bag?”
                  Nervously she peered at him. “No.”
                  “Hmm, is there something you need to share with me?”
                  “I didn’t bring one because I hadn’t planned on staying the night. I’ll explain in further detail when we get to the hotel,” she replied noticing Rasheeda was listening.
                  “Well, I can’t wait to hear this explanation.”
                  Frowning, she glared at him, bid Rasheeda good night, and left with him following close behind her.
     
    ~*~
                 
                  After retrieving his luggage, Declan grabbed Makeba by the hand and rushed to the arrival level where his car awaited them. The driver popped the trunk. Freeing Declan from his luggage, he placed the bags in the car then rushed around to open the door for them to get in. Once comfortably seated inside, the driver entered the car and cautiously pulled off into traffic.
                  Declan laid his head back and closed his eyes pondering what could possibly be wrong with Makeba. He went over a million things in his head trying to come up with what the problem could have been but he couldn't come up with anything. He thought they were in a good place. Obviously, he was wrong. At least that’s what he was telling himself.
                  Twenty minutes later they were entering suite 623 at the Marriott Hotel, the room he always booked when he visited Newark. Quickly, he put away his clothes then returned to the living area joining Makeba on the sofa. He wanted so bad to kiss her, touch her, feed on her like she was his first meal after years of famine but he wasn’t sure if he should. He wouldn’t be able to take rejection very well so instead, he remained quiet waiting for her to speak.
                  It had been a few minutes and still no words escaped her lips. No longer able to stand the tension between them, Declan grabbed her hands and cradled them in his while gently rubbing the backs.
                  “We’re good right? We’re ok?”
                  The worried look in his eyes caused her heart to sink. Making him feel bad wasn’t her intention at all.
                  Staring into his eyes she began to speak. “I want to be honest with you. Since your last visit, I had been seriously pondering whether I should continue to see you beyond tonight.”
                  Her words not only shocked him but it pricked his insides like he was stuck with a straight pin. He was ready to speak until she stopped him by placing her finger on his lips.
                  “Let me finish, please.”
                  He nodded.
                  “There’s no worst feeling in the world for a woman than the feeling of being undesirable.”
                  Jumping up from the sofa, he stared at her like she was a foreign object that mysteriously fell from the sky.
                  “What?”
                  “I wondered why you wasn’t physically attracted to me. Every time I tried to get you to make love to me you’d decline. I felt rejected and hurt, feeling like I was a pawn in some kind of game you were playing. My mind was made up. I wasn’t going to waste any more time with you.”
                  “Makeba.”
                  “No, let me speak. I have never had so many feelings moving through me at once. In the past I thought what I was feeling was love but it felt nothing like this. My emotions are out of control Declan and I’m so afraid that what I’m feeling will not be reciprocated.”
                  “What is it that you’re feeling?”
                  “I don’t