Free Universal Alien by Gini Koch

SUV?”
    â€œThe one we crashed in,” Charlie added helpfully.
    â€œOh. Right. But I meant what are
you
doing with
my
car?”
    â€œLike all the others, Kitty, it’s
our
car.” He put the car seat into the back while I contemplated what the heck was going on.
    Looked down. “Charlie . . . was I wearing these clothes when you left the house this morning?”
    â€œ
No
,” Max answered. “It’s how I know you’re not our mommy.”
    Chuckie was done with the car seat and he looked at me. “You’re right,” he said slowly. “You weren’t dressed quite like this to go to the zoo.” His eyes narrowed. “Whatever you did with
Jeff
it was fast.”
    â€œMommy didn’t go anywhere without us,” Charlie said, sounding stressed. “She doesn’t know anyone named Jeff, Daddy, I promise.”
    â€œI do, actually. He’s my husband. He’s the Vice President of the United States. And he’s an alien, from Alpha Four in the Alpha Centauri system, to be exact. And you were
in
our wedding, Chuckie.”
    Chuckie’s expression shifted. Relief was fighting with worry, but he no longer looked hurt or angry. “Ah,” he said gently. “Got it. Kids, it’s fine. Or, well, not really, but it’ll be okay. Let’s get home and take care of Mommy.” The kids climbed into the back of the car, Chuckie made sure they were all buckled in. “We’re going to drive slowly because you boys don’t have your car seats. No fighting or horsing around.”
    The boys nodded. Charlie still looked worried. Max looked truculent. Jamie, however, looked pleased.
    Chuckie shut the car doors and then came over to me. He pulled me gently into his arms. I kept my body stiff. “We’ll figure out what happened with your clothes. Maybe you decided to change before you all left because you were supposed to meet up with Caroline. But I get it, baby, and it’s okay.” He kissed my head.
    â€œCaro’s here?”
    â€œYes. You and the kids were heading to meet up with her at the zoo. I’ll call her when we get home and let her know what’s going on.”
    â€œWhat
is
going on?”
    â€œYou have what I’m figuring is a major concussion and that means memory loss, confusion, and many other things are possible. You’ve mixed up our
Traveler
game with real life.”
    â€œHuh?”
    â€œWe roleplay a game called
Traveler
, Kitty. It’s like
D and D
but it’s set in outer space. In that game, I’m an alien, named Geffer, and you’re a human warrior. Our characters got married in the game. We have a monthly game when we’re in Australia. In fact, we played just a couple nights before we came back to the States. That’s what’s going on—you’ve confused the two in your mind.”
    â€œNo. Look, there are aliens on Earth. You’re the freaking head of the C.I.A.’s E-T Division.”
    He hugged me tightly as he chuckled. “Kitty, you know I don’t believe there are aliens on the planet. I haven’t for years.”
    â€œStryker knows the truth. Call him.”
    â€œEddy? He’s on a book tour, Kitty. And he’s as aware that what he writes is fiction as I am.”
    â€œWhere is Hoffa buried?”
    â€œWhat? I need to get you home. Or to a doctor. Both, really.”
    â€œThere are both at the Embassy.”
    â€œMaybe, but we’re on American soil, so there is no embassy for us here, baby.”
    â€œI mean the American Centaurion Embassy.”
    â€œI have no idea what you’re talking about, Kitty. But I’m guessing it’s related to the game. Just like everything else.”
    â€œConspiracies, which ones are active right now?”
    He hugged me again. “Many, I’m sure. I don’t pay too much attention to all of that, now, Kitty. I have a wife and three kids who need my