Free Posh and Prejudice by Grace Dent

up in each other’s
     faces in nightclub VIP rooms and being all gangster. Meatman and Delano and the rest of the audience seemed to really like
     this. They were cheering and pretending to fire guns at the screen.
    Then the video moved on to where kids start getting shot and stabbed and the parents start getting involved and kids are crying
     in apartment stairwells and bodies are on mortuary slabs and police are shoving people in jail cells and it gets proper heavy.
    I looked at the Year Tens and I see that Meatman had got bored now and got his phone out and he’s sending a text and Delano
     is chatting up some girl near him and everyone had got a bit distracted; even my bloody brother Murphy was talking to Tariq.
    It was like the end scenes were just going right over their heads. They didn’t care at all. They probably see this type of
     thing every day on MTV, so it weren’t like any big deal to them. Then the lights went on and Ms. Bracket saw us Sixth Formers
     were a bit flustered so she stepped in and said “So, has anyone got any comments about this video?” and everyone just pretended
     to be deaf or ignored her.
    Then Meatman said, “I got a comment, Miss. Can we watch the first half again ’cos all the gangster bit was well nang before
     all the preaching crap started.”
    Then Delano chipped in with, “Man, dat blood was asking to get merked anyway.”
    Then lots of the boys in the front row laughed well loud and fired invisible guns in the air shouting, “Brap Brap Braaaap!”
    I won’t even describe what happened during our play. It is still proper painful in my brain. All I’ll say is the image of
     Meatman chasing Sean through the assembly hall in a salmon-pink bolero jacket with glitter patches while a group of Year Tens
     shouted, “Run Fairy Run! Ruuuuuuuuun!” will stay in my head forever.

MONDAY 20TH OCTOBER
    Meatman has been suspended from Mayflower Academy for two weeks.
    I called Sean today and told him. Sean was in bed watching Season One of
The OC
on DVD and eating string cheese and feeling proper suicidal.
    Sean says he ain’t never coming out of his house again until he knows he ain’t under threat or nothing. So I says, “Oh, come
     back Sean, I’ll be your bodyguard. I ain’t scared of Meatman.”
    Then Sean laughed a bit and says, “I know you’re not scared of him, you loon. You’re proper hard as nails you are, princess.”
    Sean says he’ll come back sometime soon but not today ’cos he’s bleaching his hair. I felt happier when he said he was bleaching
     his hair ’cos no one bothers to spend an hour wrapped in tinfoil just to kill themselves, do they?
    Mr. Bamblebury and Ms. Bracket say we shouldn’t be discouraged by the near riot that broke out in our final “Increase the
     Peace” assembly. Mr. Bamblebury says, “All great journeys start with a few small steps.”
    So I said, “Well, tell Sean Burton that, Mr. Bamblebury, ’cos he took more than a few small steps, in fact, he was well past
     the supermarket hiding in a Dumpster when I found him.” Joshua snorted Fanta down his nose when I said that.
    Mr. Bamblebury just pretended to be deaf. He can’t handle me being real. I always keep it real. Joshua says my rap name would
     be MC Realize.

WEDNESDAY 22ND OCTOBER
    Carrie and Saf are going out together! They were working after school last night on some geography homework and Saf asked
     Carrie if he could have a snog and Carrie said yes and she gave him a quick snog but that was all so she reckons, although
     they are both now banned from the library for a week and the librarian has put a lock on the reserved book room closet.
    Carrie and Saf are well loved-up together. They roll around on the common room sofas, cleaning out each other’s ears with
     their mouths and pawing each other. Joshua Fallow says it’s like refereeing one long World Wrestling Entertainment Smackdown.
     Joshua is bare jokes sometimes even though he is quite posh.
    I went and