Free Sister Heart by Sally Morgan Page B

away
    Somewhere
    behind the wind
    at the back of the sea
    is my country
    But how do I get there?

    I’m on deck
    searching waves for land
    Reverend is on deck
    searching waves for his straw hat
    The wind tugged it from his head
    and stole it away
    No hat
    thin white hair
    he’ll burn
    if the sun shines hot
    Hat bobs close
    Sinks
    Maybe the whale who swallowed Jonah
    will eat it
    Reverend talks, talks, talks
    about Jonah and the whale
    Jonah gave his soul
    to God
    then ran away
    God sent the whale
    to teach Jonah a lesson
    The whale wasn’t hungry or evil
    It was just a messenger
    So you see, it’s important
    to do what God tells you
    Will a whale swallow me
    if I don’t?

    Clouds race
    sky rolls
    lightning flashes
    thunder growls
    wind shrieks
    storm breaks
    Our ship rises
    shivers
    falls
    rises again
    Reverend says
    If the ship sinks
    every precious soul on board
    will be flung into the sea
    The Devil is always ready
    to do evil work
    Pray with me, child!
    My guts have their own storm
    I spew instead

    It is a long time
    before sea calms
    wind dies
    rain fades
    When we are allowed
    on deck again
    I stand below
    a river of colour
    diving over the ship
    into the sea
    Reverend squints at the sky
    A man named Noah
    built a ship
    to escape a great flood
    that destroyed the earth
    That rainbow you see
    is a sign of God’s grace
    a sign of hope
    I gaze at the rainbow
    If I could reach you
    I say in my head
    would you slide me home?

    Sunrise sparks a dim sky
    Sea birds swoop and call
    Reverend smiles
    Our journey is over
    This is our last port of call
    The storm is behind us
    civilisation ahead
    People fuss and scurry
    Reverend finds a quiet spot
    I’m glad to sit down
    I have something important to tell you
    I have given you a new name
    You are now called Anne
    Do you like the name Anne?
    I already have an english name
    Lots of people on the station
    have english names
    Boss won’t say language names
    but I have one
    My language name
    is the name Mum whispers
    when I’m sick
    The name she croons
    when she strokes my hair
    I love my language name
    Anne was the mother of the Virgin Mary
    The Virgin Mary’s family was blessed by God
    Anne is a name to be proud of!
    Reverend reaches for my hand
    I hide it behind my back
    His face twitches
    I mean you no harm, Anne
    But he won’t let me go!
    I am doing what is best for you
    But he will keep me trapped
    I hunch over
    stare at the deck
    He sighs
    You are as stif-necked as Jonah!
    When we leave the ship
    don’t run like Jonah did
    A port is a dangerous place for a child
    I’m sorry the Church didn’t claim you first
    But you will be in my prayers
    And don’t worry
    you won’t be alone
    A government man
    will meet us on the wharf
    He will take you to a place
    suitable for children like yourself
    A new home awaits you, Anne

    People rush about
    Some talk loud
    some laugh
    some push
    My heart is leaping
    like a panicked bird
    Reverend grips my arm
    Stay close to me
    People are eager to disembark
    That terrible storm frightened everyone
    It is only by the grace of God
    we have arrived safely
    I don’t want to stay on the ship
    but
    I don’t want to leave either
    What’s wrong with me?
    I hear Mum’s voice in my head
    Be strong
    When I am upset
    Mum always says
    Be strong
    like I know you are
    I take a shuddery gulp
    Tell myself –
be strong
    Reverend pulls me along
    I breathe deeper
    pretend I am bigger
    taller
    older
    I walk like I’m not afraid
    like I am brave
    I step onto the wharf
    The land doesn’t move
    with my feet
    or sway with my legs
    like the sea does
    My knees crumple
    ground rushes up
    A hand grabs me
    Makes me stand
    A hurried voice says
    Thank you, Reverend Dale
    I’ll take charge of the girl now

two

    I’m taken
    to a government place
    given
    to a government man
    sitting
    in a government chair
    hard eyes staring
    Hmm, you’re a thin little thing
    Well now
    let me see
    what