Free My Invisible Boyfriend by Susie Day

on the head, and throws me a pleading look.
    “You’ll help me restrain her, Heidi, right? Before I lose her to the theater geeks forever?”
    I nod, and grin. I’m starting to like Peroxide Eric.
    Betsy strides up to collect a few mugs.
    “Hope all these adorable couples aren’t making you feel lonesome, honeypie,” she says, leaning on my shoulder. “You with the long-distance relationship and all, I mean.”
    She gives me a huge wink. My heart does a little fandango of panic. This was not part of the plan. Phase Two is at a crucial stage: a crucial, fundamental, going-to-be-really-hard-to-explain-away-as-a-joke-now stage. One wrong move, and it could be Frog Girl time forever.
    Dai and Ludo are both sitting perkily upright now, like two meerkats. Henry and Peroxide Eric look sweetly intrigued. Simon and Fili have their heads bent, doing their mumblespeaking thing.
    “Of course!” says Dai. “The Divine Betsy has actually met the Mysterious Ed.”
    I have no idea what my face is doing, but my throatfeels like someone inserted marshmallows. Many, many marshmallows.
    Betsy slaps on an even bigger grin, and tugs on one of my braids.
    “I don’t know about Mysterious. Lickable, maybe? Nope: edible , that’s the word. And Dai, sweetie, I couldn’t get those two off of that sofa all summer. Could’ve stopped putting sugar out on the tables, they sweetened up the place all by themselves.”
    Then she plumps a kiss on the side of my head, and disappears off toward the kitchen, muttering something improbable about having heard the oven timer go “ping.”
    Everyone is looking my way.
    I prepare to explain away Gingerbread Ed’s blatant fictionalness. With…words. Words that I will think of. Soon. Really soon.
    “ Edible ,” sighs Ludo, into Peroxide Eric’s chest.
    “Betsy seal of approval,” says Fili slowly, her eyes flicking between the kitchen and me, suddenly looking a whole lot more interested.
    “Get you, Slutgirl,” says Dai. “Not that we would’ve expected any less. I always figured you’d be the picky type.”
    “Dai, I think you’re embarrassing her,” says Henry.
    “She’s remembering what she got up to on this sofa,” says Dai. “The Sofa of Sex.”
    Ludo squeals, and claps her hands.
    Even Peroxide Eric looks quietly impressed.
    OHM.
    EYE.
    GOD.
    Phase Two is apparently kind of successful. Like, a lot. Like, way more than I even hoped.
    Mycroft Christie’s going to dance me around the penthouse in celebration tonight, I can tell. And then Ed will probably send me a few more messages, telling me how amazing I am, and I’ll send a few to him, and not even the Mothership announcing another Green Only week can possibly bring me down.
    The rest of the day goes by like a blur. I’m actually confused when Betsy starts the closing up routine of mopping, wiping, and eating leftover cake. I guess that’s what happens when you’re in love.
    “Earth calling Heidi,” says Betsy, knocking on my forehead and handing me a weary-looking scone. “We interrupt this transmission to tell you to go home, in the nicest possible way.”
    “Sorry. I was just…”
    “About to say, ‘Thank you, Betsy, for your Oscar-worthy performance today’?”
    I grin. She was kind of awesome.
    “Thanks. If they need an understudy for the musical, I’ll know who to call.”
    “Yeah, heard you guys talking about it. You need any time off for rehearsals and such, hon, that’s OK.”
    “Oh, I’m not acting. Me and Fili’s boyfriend are supposed to be doing costume designs. Which is kind of…unhappenable.”
    Betsy is familiar with my artistic non-skills. Even my stick men could do with improvement.
    “Well, if it’s sketches you need, just ask the resident artist.”
    She nods toward the back wall, where today’s batch of Teddy’s cheery chalky doodlemen are dancing their way across the list of specials.
    I wrinkle my nose without really meaning to.
    “Um. Yeah. That’s really kind, but…”
    “You