tell anybody I told you.â
âOkay. I wonât.â
She looked away again. âMy mom thought your mom was going to have another baby. I guess she was wrong. You canât tell them I told you.â
Everything got blurry. Then I thought about the weirdness about the room down the hallâthe way it was so mysterious, so complicated. They had thought it was going to be a babyâs room. And now . . . it wasnât? Because Dad had told me he was working on it, the room. So what did that mean?
Maybe that was something they still wanted? Another kid?
I liked the idea of it.
Someone to be lonely with.
âIâm sorry,â Wendy said. âI think my mom thought thereâd be official news today, that that was why we were invited.â
âNo,â I said. âNo news.â
I didnât want to talk about it anymore. âLetâs just play Spit, okay?â
âYour carousel!â Wendy practically screamed, noticing, I guessed, the circle of missing dust on my dresser when she got up to get the cards. âDid it break?â
âNo. I still have it.â
âOh, good. I thought maybe thereâd been an earthquake that only hit your room or something.â
I said, âThat would be pretty crazy,â but as we started to play cards, I felt like I was experiencing some serious tremors and aftershocks. I could barely shuffle the deck.
âSo.â Wendy lowered her voice. âI finally got a bra.â
âThatâs great. Iâm happy for you.â And then we just played and played while I struggled to hold it together.
âI broke my Dopey,â I said, after a while. âYou know, the Seven Dwarfs Iâve had since I was little?â
âStinks.â Wendy was going to town with fours and fives and sixes on one of the piles, but I had nothing to add, just jacks and queens and some nines and tens. âI bet your mom can fix it.â
When Wendy and her mom were gone, I helped clean up more than I ever did without being told to.âWell, arenât you helpful,â Mom said. She never missed a beat.
I wanted to ask her about the office, the babyâs room, whether that was happening or not and if not, what had happened. I wanted to tell her that Iâd dug my own grave over at Alyssaâs. But I couldnât get the courage up.
I did find myself just brave enough to say, âI was wondering if we could go shopping.â
âWhat for?â She was washing plastic tumblers in the sink.
I lowered my voice. âA bra.â
âOh, honey.â She turned to me. âWhen you need one, weâll go.â
Sheâd used that line a few times when Iâd asked about a cell phone, too, but I didnât remind her of that, or of how ridiculous an argument it was. I wanted to stay focused.
âMom.â My ears felt like they were on fire. âIâm telling you I need one.â
She looked upâalmost like she didnât recognize me at allâand then her features softened. âOkay, then. Tomorrow morning?â
12 .
I was up and dressed and ready to hit the mall in record time Thursday morning. But when we got to the store and Mom asked a saleswoman to show us to the âtraining bras,â I wanted to curl up and die. Or, at the very least, tell Mom to forget the whole thing and just go for a cinnamon bun instead. The wide grin of the saleswomanâa grandmother typeâdidnât help.
âMom,â I said, when she tried to follow me into the fitting room. âI think I can handle it from here.â
I ended up having a hard time with the clasps, so the whole thing was taking a while.
âJulia.â Momâs voice was so close. âI can help.â
âI can do it!â Could this be any more awkward? I thought I might dislocate my shoulder. Then it finally hooked.
The first one was too tight around my back, though, and the second one, too big in the