Free The Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates #1 by Caroline Carlson

cut into her fish, took an experimental bite, and nodded. “They’re very fresh, actually.”
    Philomena’s mouth twitched into something resembling a smile. “So you’re a fish expert, Miss Dupree? How fascinating.”
    â€œWell, I’m not exactly an expert ,” said Claire, “but I grew up selling fish—my parents are fishmongers, you see—and it’s easy to learn a bit about fish when you’re around them every day. They’re really not so bad once you get used to the smell.”
    Philomena tapped her fork against her plate. “Your family sells fish? Isn’t that a job for commoners?”
    The other girls at the table stopped talking. Some of them stared down at their plates; others stared at Philomena. Claire had gone all rigid and pale, and Hilary dearly wished she had brought her sword to lunch. “Don’t you dare speak to Claire that way,” she said. “She’s done nothing to you, and she’s the kindest girl here.”
    Philomena sniffed. “Really, Miss Westfield,” she said, “I can’t believe your parents would encourage you to associate with fishmongers’ daughters.” She took a dainty sip of water. “I wonder whatever possessed Miss Pimm to let Miss Dupree enroll here. After all, this is a school for young ladies of quality, and it’s clear she’ll never be anything but a fishwife.”
    Claire gasped and dropped the bit of fish stick she’d been holding.
    Hilary leaned across the table and fixed her most fearsome stare on Philomena. “If you say another word,” she said, “I’ll see to it that you’re strapped to a ship’s mast and sent off to a deserted island where you can’t be cruel to anyone. I’ll tie you up myself; don’t think I won’t.” Hilary looked over at Claire and smiled. “I hear that horrid girls on deserted islands don’t often get invited to High Society balls.”
    Claire bit her lip. Then she smiled back at Hilary. “Perhaps,” she said in a small voice, “if Philomena is very lucky, a fish might ask her for a waltz.”
    For a moment, the entire table fell silent. Then, very quietly, the girl next to Claire began to laugh. Claire laughed, too. Even Philomena’s glare wasn’t strong enough to stop the laughter from spreading, and soon enough, all the girls at the table were giggling over their fish sticks.
    Philomena, however, was perfectly silent. Her knuckles turned white around her fork. Then, to Hilary’s amazement, she placed the fork primly on the tablecloth and smiled. She reached under her seat for her schoolbag and fumbled inside for a moment until she found a small, gleaming object, which she clasped in her fists so quickly that Hilary couldn’t make out its shape. Then she murmured a few small words and looked up at Claire.
    The fish sticks on Claire’s plate started to wobble. They squirmed about until they were standing upright on the plate, and after a moment’s hesitation, they formed a rather tidy line. Hilary stared at the regiment of fish sticks in horror as, one by one, they leaped off the plate and smacked themselves against Claire’s forehead.
    Claire shrieked and grabbed her knife, but the fish sticks dodged her swipes. Even when Hilary had gathered her senses enough to overturn the plate, the remaining fish sticks wriggled out from underneath it and dove into Claire’s lap as fast as they could manage. By the time the assault reached its end, Claire was dripping with crumbs and smelling quite a bit like Queensport Harbor herself.
    Hilary pushed back her chair and stood up. “I can’t imagine,” she said to Philomena, “that Miss Pimm tolerates any sort of bullying at her school, let alone the magical kind. She’ll have you expelled when I tell her what you’ve done.”
    â€œMagic?” Philomena blinked at Hilary.