Free Ghouls Just Want to Have Fun by Kathleen Bacus

stuff dreams were made of; however, there were other things to consider. Like the nature of this particular ranger and the creative nature of the pranks he'd pulled on me our whole lives. Ultimately I decided to heed the warning.
    "There!" I said, stepping back and motioning at the petulant pirate. "All done!"
    My gramma squinted at Townsend. "I normally use a heavier hand, dear," she said. "You can hardly tell he's wearing any."
    I handed Gram her eyeliner back. "I'm going for that understated look, Gram," I said. "We don't want Townsend here looking like a crackhead, do we?"
    Gram considered for a moment and then turned away with a grunt. "Guess not," she said. "But just so you know, Johnny Depp wasn't so full of himself that he was above wearing mascara," she pointed out.
    "The millions of bucks he earned didn't have a thing to do with it, I suppose," Townsend said.
    Oooh! The man had apparently been taking a few sarcasm lessons of his own on the side.
    "You're next, Tressa."
    I blinked. "What?"
    "You're next, Tressa."
    My throat felt like somebody had their hands on my neck and were squeezing. Three small, insignificant words. Just three little words. Yet when placed in this context and uttered by my rather unpredictable gramma, those teensy words struck fear into the heart and mind of this suddenly contrite cowgirl.
    "Huh?"
    "Your turn. And I have the perfect costume for you."
    More words of doom and gloom.
    "That really isn't necessary, Gram," I said, backing away.
    "Oh, arrr--but it is, matey," the POed pirate piped up, grabbing my hand and pulling me away from the car I'd been hoping to take refuge in. "Time for yer makeover, darlin', or walk the plank, ye will."
    I gave Rick a squint. "Like, who are you trying to be? You sound like a cross between that Aussie croc hunter and Austin Powers."
    "Here, dear."
    Gram approached, holding out a long black garment and a tall witch's hat. I breathed a sigh of relief. Witches were cool. Tabitha was cool. Samantha Stephens was really cool. And odds were I'd be the sexiest witch at the senior center.
    "Your Paw-Paw Will wore this the last Halloween he was on this earth," she said, handing me the costume. "I never could bring myself to wear it, but he'd want you to have it," she said with a sniffle.
    I looked at the pointy witch's hat and back at my gramma. "Paw-Paw Will was a witch for Halloween?" I said.
    "Well, he couldn't be Dorothy now, could he?" she replied.
    I blinked. "Guess not," I said.
    "Naturally, I went as Dorothy. Complete with ruby slippers and picnic basket. We caused quite a stir that year."
    I nodded, wondering if there wasn't more to Paw-Paw Will than had met the eye.
    I took the hat, stuck it on my head and wiggled into the black costume.
    "No, no! You need your wig first!" Gram said, thrusting an long, gray, ungodly wig in my direction. "Glinda, the good witch, had the blond hair. Not you!"
    "Yer the naughty witch, wench!" my annoying pirate friend ad-libbed. "So don yonder hairpiece, or I'll tickle ye with me one good hand!" He raised his hook and scratched his cheek, and I felt a smile tug at the corners of my mouth.
    "You didn't have to wear a wig," I said. "Why should I?"
    "Just do as yer told, witch, or yer fish food!"
    I rolled my eyes. Rick was really getting into his pirate role.
    "Hurry up, Tressa. We haven't got all night!" Gram said as I reluctantly took the wig and plopped it onto my head, trying to right it when long gray strands completely covered my face. I imagined I looked a whole lot like that movie character who crawled up out of the TV set and sucked people's faces off. A world away from Townsend's suave, sexy pirate--but I was thinking I'd still gotten off more easily than I expected.
    "There. Happy?" I asked.
    "Not yet. You need your nose."
    "Come again?"
    "Your nose, dear. You have to have a warty witch's nose. Have you ever seen a bad witch who didn't have a big pointed nose with an ugly wart on it?"
    "And your point?"
    "Not my point!