Free To Say Goodbye by Lindsay Detwiler

get him a gift. His party was in the afternoon, but I decided since I didn’t get him anything, I’d just take him fishing.”
    “Tim? Fishing?” Sophia smiled.
    “Yeah, I know. Even at eight, it was pretty apparent he wasn’t quite the fishing, hunting, hands-on kind of guy. He was happier sitting in our treehouse reading a book. I, on the other hand, liked getting dirty, liked being in the wild.”
    “A man’s man.” She put her sandwich down to wipe the dressing off her hands, her gaze still locked on him.
    “You could say that. Anyway, I didn’t want to tell him my idea. I just wanted to surprise him. So I told him to meet me at our treehouse at eight in the morning. I’d already hidden my dad’s fishing pole out by the river and all of the supplies.”
    “Your parents let you go by yourself at that age?”
    “I didn’t say we had permission, did I?” He smiled at her, fully engulfed in the memory now. Her face had softened. “Anyway, he met me at the treehouse, apprehensive of course. The week before, I’d stolen fireworks from a neighbor’s house and almost caught Tim on fire. But he trusted me, God knows why. I blindfolded him, deciding to lead him to the river as a surprise.”
    Sophia eyed him furtively, seeming to know where the story was going.
    “Let’s just say I wasn’t the best guide. We walked down the pathway behind his house and arrived at the river. But I got distracted. Tim lost his footing. Before I knew what happened, he was screaming wildly in the river water, flailing about, still blindfolded.”
    Sophia covered her mouth. “He couldn’t swim.”
    “Yeah, well I didn’t know that. So all I saw was Tim sinking down. It took a minute until I realized what was happening. I ended up having to jump in and save him.”
    “What a great surprise.”
    “Yeah, obviously. To top it all off, he ended up getting bit by a snake on the way out of the woods. And I forgot my dad’s fishing pole. We spent Tim’s birthday party first at the emergency room and then grounded. He was pretty pissed at me for about a week.”
    “You were trouble.”
    “Yeah, I was. Still am, I suppose.”
    “Nah, I don’t think you’re half bad.” She nudged him playfully with her elbow. “After all, you managed to make me smile today. And eat. My mom would be grateful.”
    “It’s just hard, you know, to think about it all. To think how it all ended. It’s not fair. He was a good man. He was always good. He didn’t deserve to die.”
    “No one ever does,” Sophia added rationally. “But you’re right. He didn’t deserve it. He had so much ahead of him. So many people to help. I always think if someone had to go, why him? He was the important one. He was the one doing big things. I cut hair. My life wouldn’t be missed.”
    “Hey. Stop it. That’s ridiculous. Of course you matter.” He found himself getting angry by her words. They scared him, probably because he recognized them.
    She shrugged. “It’s the truth. Where’s my life really going?”
    He covered her hand with his. “It’s going somewhere. That’s all that matters. Sophia, I know this is awful, and I know you don’t want to hear this. But this isn’t it for you. There are big things in store for you. I just know it. I know we don’t know each other very well, but I can see it in your eyes. You’re going to have a full life. I know it’s not what you had in mind, not what you planned. You’re going to be okay, though.”
    There was a pause, a silence. He felt himself feeling more comfortable, more open than he had in months, years if he were being honest. He felt himself saying the things to her he needed to be saying to himself. In her, he saw a broken woman, a destroyed woman, who was going to resurrect herself from destruction. In her, he saw hope in an odd way.
    He saw a will to survive, to keep moving. Despite her understandable succumbing to sadness, to pity, to depression, there was a fight in her, a determination