Free S.O.S. by Joseph Connolly

since – isn’t that so, Captain Honeybunch?’
    â€˜He calls me that,’ said Aggie, quite shyly. ‘But isn’t it a simply perfect name for her? You see it’s a sort of play on Tran-
sylv
-ania, isn’t it Nobby?’
    â€˜A sort of play, yes: a sort of play – yes indeed.’
    â€˜Sort of taking out the middle bit, sort of thing,’ clarified Aggie. ‘Ooh – stand by, Nobby – it’s nearly photo time. You don’t maybe know, Jennifer and …
Stacy
, is it? Yes – Stacy. First-timers, are you?’
    As Jennifer and Stacy numbly nodded, Nobby was nodding too – his face full to bursting with indulgence and understanding.
    â€˜Always got to be a first time, hasn’t there?
We
were virgins, once.’
    â€˜Nobby!’ said Aggie, quite sharply.
    â€˜Sorry,’ whispered Nobby. ‘No offence, I’m sure.’
    â€˜It’s just that they take a ‘Welcome Aboard’ photo of everyone just before you board,’ Aggie rattled on. ‘We’ve got quite a collection, as well you might imagine. Always try to wear something a little bit different, don’t we Nobby? For the photo.’
    â€˜Always try,’ agreed Nobby, rather airily. ‘Always do, yes we do – we always do try to do that, yes.’
    Aggie simpered at him. ‘So we can tell them apart.’
    Jennifer was casting her eyes wildly behind her, now (there must be escape!), but the narrow corridor was jammed with people as far as she could see: the only way was forward.
    â€˜I need a drink,’ she said.
    â€˜There’s generally a welcome beverage laid on of a teatime,’ allowed Nobby. ‘Nice hot potful – and Sylvie can usually be relied upon not to let us down in the way of a selection of peerless scones and dainties.
Embark
, you know – that’s another little word with an interesting origin.’
    â€˜Look!’ gasped Jennifer. ‘They want you to have your picture taken. It’s your turn.
Look
!’
    â€˜Do you know you’re right? Best foot forward, Aggie! Yes –
embark
. ‘Barco’, you see, is the Spanish word meaning ship – you go on the left of me, Captain Honeybunch … while ‘embarcar’ – are you with me? Means to actually, so to say,
go on board the ship
. Follow? Well – doesn’t take a great leap, does it, to see where we obtain the word ‘embark’ from, no? Tell you what – what say you two join us for the photo? Hey?’
    â€˜Ooh
yes
,’ enthused Aggie. ‘We’d certainly have no problem identifying
that
snap, would we? Nobby and me – with our two new little friends? Oh – it’s going to be a
wonderful
summer!’
    The picture was pinned up later that very day outside the photo shop, on board ship, alongside hundreds of bright and glossy others. To the right of the vast and flowery wreath, Aggie and Nobby seemed to be in a state approaching rapture, their arms locked tightly around Stacy on the one side, and Jennifer on the other. And neither Aggie nor Nobby appeared to notice that Stacy looked quite pallid and thoughtful, as if gauging whether or not she could maybe just hold on for a few moments longer, or if in fact a bucket was urgently needed
now
 – and nor that Jennifer (maybe due to the fact that both rigid lips were pulled so well back as to reveal practically all of her teeth, as her eyes glowed dark) radiated murderous intent. Certainly one for the album, was Aggie’s view – and she cheerfully paid out thirteen dollars for a pair of prints – one of them destined to be a small token of welcome, slipped beneath the door of the cabin on Six Deck registered under the names of their two new little friends (I think they must be sisters) together with a notelet inviting them both to meet up at six-thirtyish in the Piano Bar,