Free Honest Love by CM Hutton

over my shoulder.  Derek had admitted he didn’t understand my relationship with Jake.  I had a feeling it was about to get ugly.
    Jake:
    Thought about you a lot…
    “Claire?”
    “It’s Jake, my ex-husband.”
    His brows furrowed as he studied me.  “What could he want this time of night?”
    “Who knows?  I’ll read it later.”  I placed my phone upside down on the counter and turned to face him.  He rubbed a hand down his face again and I grabbed it, shocking him.  “Hey, he’s married to another woman.  He’s moved on, but his guilt feeds a need to…I don’t know, make sure I’m okay.”
    He stared straight into my eyes and said, “He’s fucking with you.  Just the few words I saw tell me that’s what he’s doing.  It’s his way of keeping tabs on you.  He’s stringing you along, Claire and I’d like to know what I’m up against.  “
    I let go of his hand and stepped away from Derek. “First of all, it’s none of your business.  Secondly, I know Jake, you don’t.  What he says doesn’t matter anymore, not unless it’s about our kids.”  Derek stared at me, then grabbed his keys, wallet and phone and said, “I have to go” as he brushed past me.  I was so shocked that I just stood there and watched him leave.  We were just having a nice time.  We were snuggled together and comfortable.  What the hell was all that?  I felt a heavy sadness wash over me.  It wasn’t until I heard his motorcycle start up that I reached for my phone to see exactly what Jake said that had our very new, very fragile friendship falling to pieces.
    Jake:
    Thought about you a lot today.  I’m sorry, Claire.  I hate that you are alone on Christmas.  I shouldn’t have let you talk me into having the kids over the entire break. 
    Jake:
    Kids are doing okay, but miss you like crazy, although they don’t want to tell me that.  Call if you need anything.  You know you can, right?
    It was a typical ‘Jake’ text.  I was used to them.  I knew he still cared a lot about me and wanted me safe and happy.  I didn’t have the foggiest idea what was in Derek’s head or in his past that had him pissed off enough to just storm out.  His reaction was over the top and strange.  Maybe I should have just opened it and let him read it.  Then, he would have seen that I was the one who’d pushed Jake to have our kids over the break and he was feeling bad about me not having them here.  I sat the phone down and walked to the front door to lock up my house.  For someone who ‘cared’ about me, Derek didn’t even lock my front door in his fit to leave. 
    I straightened the living room, grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and my phone off the counter before I went upstairs to brush my teeth and go to bed.  I didn’t have the energy to think about anything.  I couldn’t do more drama.  Jake had sucked it all out of me for the last year…hell, for the last twenty years.  I was sad and could feel myself on the verge of tears.  I hated it. 
    Just before I snuggled under my covers, I found my phone and turned on my side to plug it in.  The screen illuminated showing a text from Derek.
    Derek:
    I’m sorry. 
    I didn’t want him to know how much his reaction affected me, so I texted back with clear, concise words.
    Claire:
    No big deal.  See you Monday at the clinic.
    Tears.  I hated tears.  They were for the weak and I wasn’t weak.  No, I refused.
    Derek:
    Claire.
    Claire:
    Good night, Derek.  Thank you for everything.
    Derek:
    I’m sorry. 
    Claire:
    No need. 
    Derek:
    I’m at your front door.  Can I please apologize to your face?
    I didn’t answer him.  I didn’t want him to see my stupid, red eyes.  Couldn’t let him see how it affected me.  All the lights in my house were out and I was in bed.  I needed sleep, not conversation.  Besides, I had no intention of engaging in whatever the hell he was dealing with at the moment.  He’d ruined the night, not me.