Free The Zombie Survival Guide: How To Live Like A King After The Outbreak by Etienne DeForest, Art Gelsinger Page A

The creature will immediately concede to its natural instincts and attack without reason or fear of consequences. It is then that you must take this opportunity to execute the first step towards your goal of ultimate zom-dom.
     
    It is most commonly accepted that zombism is spread via saliva and other bodily fluids. Therefore, if you are going to keep a zombie in your midst, either as a slave or a subject for study, it is an absolute must that you secure their jaw region. This can be accomplished with a hockey mask, dog muzzle, or, more simply, with one of those red ball gags commonly stocked by dildo shops. Also, in any close interaction with zombies, it is highly recommended that you use gloves to protect your hands. I recommend using 7 oz MMA gloves, as these will simultaneously soften your blows, so you don't destroy the delicate bone structure of you new concubine’s face, while at the same time allowing you to take hold of your subject safely should you have to.
     
    The moment the undead beast reaches for your head, bludgeon it until it falls to the ground. Remember, zombies have an unbelievable tolerance for pain. To make them respond to torture requires subjecting them physical distress that would erase the soul of any living human. You must be prepared to blacken your heart to the point where you can literally batter a corpse until all of its teeth are broken and its body is covered in deep purple bruises and abrasions.
     
    Do not inflict all of the damage at once, however. Every half hour, stop the flogging and sit in a chair out of arm’s reach from your would-be slave. Soon enough, the knees and elbows of your future servant/test subject will begin to slowly contract, and it will begin to lift itself off the floor.
     
    Wait for your trainee to regain its composure and instinctively extend its arms in its hungry lust for your brains. Once again, the very moment this behavior occurs, you must suppress it with intense, discipline-inducing violence. Beat it into the ground like it owes you money. Then, sit and wait for the inevitable mumbling of “brains” as it once again approaches, groping toward your cranium's delicious insides. At this point you may want to consider breaking out some of the other “tools” you discovered when you found the ball gag. You never know exactly which type of torture techniques will work best on any given zombie, so anything goes!
     
    Repeat this process until the unholy creation begins to show signs of hesitation before extending its arms toward your head.
     
    Again, and again, and again, beat the creature until it is laying on the floor, coughing up whatever blood is left in its body, gathering up the last of its strength to rise and attempt to devour your brains once more. Each time it gets up for more, give it more. After each bludgeoning, it is important that you adopt a non-threatening, unsuspecting pose, just to let it know that you will not beat it if it doesn’t try attacking you. Until it is not resuming its attack after 45 seconds of being beaten to the ground, your subject is not yet ready for phase two.
     
    Once it has been classically conditioned enough, just like Pavlov's dogs, it will begin equating the stimuli of your constant beat-downs as punishment for its thoroughly “bad” and “naughty” attempts to eat your brains.
     
    Bad zombie!!!
     
    A series of beatings this severe will likely take most of the day, twelve hours on a good day. So make sure that you eat a hearty breakfast, and forget about masturbating or playing any videogames that day. Remember, you will not be able to do this quickly. You will be inflicting a level of torture that would make Saddam Hussein himself vomit upon witnessing it. And, as anyone who’s spent any length of time at Abu Ghraib or Guantanamo Bay can tell you, torture needs to be constant and seemingly never ending in order to be effective.
     
    In extreme cases, your zombie bitch will retain its stubborn will for up