Free Constable & Toop by Gareth P. Jones Page A

Lapsewood. ‘Surely that’s one of those myths made up by the living.’
    â€˜Is it, though?’ asked Nell.
    â€˜I can see you two are getting friendly,’ said a voice. Lapsewood noticed Tanner standing behind Nell, grinning from ear to ear.
    â€˜Hello, Tanner,’ said Nell, pulling away from Lapsewood. ‘What you doing with all them spirit hounds?’
    Tanner was holding five leads, each with the ghost of a dog on the end. In most cases, it was stomach-churningly obvious what had killed them. They all had patchy, mangy coats, revealing sore pink skin underneath. Some had been beaten, others run over, run through or shot.
    â€˜Dogs?’ exclaimed Lapsewood.
    â€˜Yeah. They’re sweet.’ Tanner picked up a three-legged Jack Russell and ruffled its head.
    â€˜They’re anomalies,’ said Lapsewood.
    â€˜I think most of them are mongrels, actually.’
    â€˜I mean they shouldn’t exist. Dogs don’t have souls. The Bureau doesn’t even officially recognise their existence.’
    â€˜Poor things.’ Tanner scratched the dog under its chin. ‘They don’t know what to do with themselves without hunger. I found this lot chasing after living cats, getting confused when they slipped through their paws.’
    â€˜What use are they to us?’ asked Lapsewood.
    â€˜Well, as I see it, the problem we have is that you can’t see the Black Rot from the outside . . .’
    â€˜You can when it gets real bad,’ said Nell.
    â€˜Yeah, but not always,’ said Tanner. ‘So how do we know if a house is safe to enter?’
    Nell and Lapsewood looked at him, awaiting the answer.
    â€˜The dogs. That’s how. A spirit hound will be no more able to escape a building with Black Rot than one of us.’
    â€˜That’s true,’ said Nell. ‘But the spirit of a dog won’t quench the appetite of an empty building. A haunted house needs a human spirit.’
    â€˜That’s as maybe,’ admitted Tanner, ‘but the point is, if they don’t come back then we’ll know it’s not safe to go in.’
    â€˜Is that true?’ asked Lapsewood.
    Nell laughed. ‘I can see which one’s the boss out of you two.’
    Lapsewood felt embarrassed, but could think of nothing to say to the contrary. ‘How do we make them go into the buildings?’ he asked.
    â€˜Like this. Watch.’ Tanner pulled out a stick tucked into his belt and held it up for a black Labrador to sniff. He then took the dog off the lead and threw the stick straight through the wall of the theatre. All the dogs barked wildly trying to get it, but the freed Labrador ran after it and jumped through the wall.
    â€˜How do you know he’ll come back at all?’ asked Lapsewood.
    â€˜He’ll come back,’ said Tanner. ‘I told you, these dogs just want caring for.’
    The Labrador bounded out of the wall, holding the stick in its mouth happily. Tanner took it and patted the dog. ‘Good boy,’ he said, tying it back up. ‘You see?’
    â€˜Smart lad,’ said Nell affectionately. ‘Now, old Nell has somewhere she needs to be. I’ll see you later, Tanner.’
    â€˜See you, Nell,’ said Tanner.
    â€˜It was lovely to make your acquaintance, Mr Lapse­wood,’ said Nell. She leaned towards him and pecked him on the cheek.
    Lapsewood stood, stunned, unable to move or speak until a taxicab went past and its wheel hit a puddle, spraying water straight through him. Tanner laughed. ‘Come on, Romeo,’ he said. ‘We got work to do.’
    The last few stragglers were trying to get to their seats before the play began as Lapsewood and Tanner stepped into the theatre lobby. Lapsewood gazed up at the columns and statues as he followed Tanner up the stairs, unseen by the theatre workers checking tickets.
    If the lobby had been impressive, it was nothing compared with the