Free Standing on The Edge Of Goodbye by Mary Eason

nodded.
    She was right about one thing. He desperately needed her. He had been hanging onto life by the smallest of threads. Teetering somewhere between living again and merely existing. He’d unconsciously taken a step forward out of the past when he met her. She might not ever convince him to believe in God again, but he was willing to let Kate do anything she wanted as long as it wasn’t leaving him.
    Because h e wanted to live again.

Chapter Eight

 
    “How can you not like to ski? You live in Colorado.” Kate’s question struck him as far funnier than it would have coming at any other hour besides three in the morning.
    He hadn’t wanted to admit to her that he was still awake, but when he’d answered the phone after the first ring, she’d guessed.
    Now, sitting in front of the fire in his office, lights out, computer off and nothing but the sound of Kate’s sweet soft voice coming through the line he was three quarters of the way asleep when she’d asked that oddly hilarious question.
    He'd discovered Kate was wide-awake and had been since she’d been awakened from sleep by a bad dream. She hadn’t realized just how late it was until after she’d dialed his number.              He liked the fact that he'd been the first one she thought about calling.
    Matt tried to stop laughing long enough to answer. “Sp oken like a truly obnoxious Texan. It’s not that I don’t like to ski—I do. Or at least I did until I broke my leg when I was seventeen. After that, I kind of avoided it. What about you, wise guy? You like to ski, or are you all tough talk?”
    A loud crunching sound was his answer.
    “What was that?” he asked.
    “Chips. Sorry, but I’m hungry and yes, I love to ski, thank you very much. Grandma Rachel taught me when I was barely old enough to walk. You should let me take you out some time. I’ll make sure you don’t fall and hurt yourself.” He heard her laugh.
    “You realize it’s almost four in the morning, right? How can you be hungry at four in the morning? And, no , thanks. I’ll take your word for it. Besides, I think you’re making that part up about your grandmother. I just can’t picture Rachel on skis.”
    “Shows what you know. She was an excellent skier and if I’m awake, I’m hungry. It comes with the territory.”
    Matt made a noncommittal noise, drifting a little closer to sleep.
    “I’m hanging up now before you start snoring in my ear. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
    “Are you sure you’re okay now? Can you go back to sleep, or do you want me to come over? I can be there in twenty minutes.” He yawned and heard her laugh again.
    “No, I’m fine now, really. Thanks for being there. Get some sleep.” She blew a kiss into the receiver before hanging up, and Matt closed his eyes again, but this time it had nothing to do with sleepiness.
    The soft sound of Kate’s kiss against his ear did terrible things to self-control.
    Thank God, she had no clue what he was thinking most of the time. He wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to keep up the front of just wanting friendship when every fiber inside of him wanted so much more.
    Matt stretched and decided sleep wasn’t even a possibility. He put on a pot of coffee and waited for it to pour though. He kept thinking about Kate and the insane idea that had been popping into his thoughts a lot lately.              
    Marriage .
    He was going out of his mind. He’d been alone too long. He didn’t like the thought of losing her. All good excuses for why he was thinking so hard about marriage. Still, he wondered what Kate’s reaction would be if he was ever foolish enough to pop the question. Would she see beyond all his well-rehearsed reasons why it was a good idea and finally know the truth? He couldn’t answer any of those questions yet, and until he could, he’d have to keep all of those crazy ideas to himself.              
    Still it didn’t hurt to think about it