Free The Audience by Peter Morgan

And fixing.
     
    Elizabeth Oh, a mechanic? Like me. I trained in the war.
     
    Thatcher Not that kind of ‘fixing’, Ma’am. It means he makes introductions.
     
    Elizabeth (
not understanding
) To whom?
     
    Thatcher Businesses. From the Middle East, mostly. And South Africa.
     
    Elizabeth Of course.
     
Thatcher goes, leaving the Queen alone on stage.

  
Behind her, Young Elizabeth appears, and addresses the nation …
     
    Young Elizabeth As I speak to you today from Cape Town I am six thousand miles from the country where I was born. But I am certainly not six thousand miles from home. That is the great privilege of belonging to a worldwide Commonwealth. We must not be daunted by the anxieties and hardships that the war has left behind for us all.
     
The Queen exits the stage, and Young Elizabeth walks forward, continuing her broadcast.
     
    Young Elizabeth If we all go forward with an unwavering faith, a high courage and a quiet heart, we shall be able to make of this ancient Commonwealth, which we all love so dearly, an even grander thing – more free, more prosperous, more happy and a more powerful influence for good in the world – than it has been in the greatest days of our forefathers. To accomplish that we must give nothing less than the whole of ourselves. There is a motto which has been borne by many of my ancestors – a noble motto: ‘I serve.’ I should like to make that dedication now. It is very simple.
     
The Queen reappears on stage. She is now an eighty-six -year-old woman. Her eyesight is no longer what it was, nor her mobility. She moves more slowly, her knee giving her trouble. Her back is an almost constant source of pain.
     
    Young Elizabeth I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your service and the service of our great imperial family to which we all belong.
     
Young Elizabeth exits.
     
It’s 2013. The door opens and the Equerry comes in. The sound of a ringing mobile telephone, with a ‘Gangnam Style’ ringtone.
     
    Equerry The Prime Minister, Ma’am.
     
David Cameron, forty-six, enters, bows respectfully.
     
    Cameron Your Majesty.
     
The ‘Gangnam Style’ ringing continues.
     
    Elizabeth Are you going to answer that?
     
    Cameron Not me.
     
The Queen looks at the Equerry.
     
    Equerry (
hands raised in innocence
) Nor me, Ma’am.
     
    Elizabeth (
realising
) Oh, for heaven’s sake …
     
The Queen moves with difficulty. Searches in her pockets. Finds the phone. Tries to turn it off.
     
    Grandchildren.
     
    Cameron May I, Ma’am?
     
Cameron takes it and switches it off for her.
     
    Elizabeth How did you do that?
     
    Cameron The red button, here, Ma’am.
     
He presses the keyboard. The Queen squints.
     
    Elizabeth There isn’t a red button.
     
    Cameron It disappears after you touch it.
     
The Queen stares. Bemused. Confounded.
     
    Cameron (
indicates
) Nice.
     
    Elizabeth What?
     
    Cameron The new Samsung.
     
    Elizabeth I begged them not to give me one, but then security persuaded me it doubled as a useful tracking device in case I try to escape. I expect you have one, too?
     
    Cameron Four.
     
    Elizabeth Four? How awful. Anyway, we have more important things to discuss than this. Welcome back, Prime Minster.
     
    Cameron Thank you, Ma’am.
     
    Elizabeth We followed your progress in the papers. All seemed to go well … in Bonn. Or was it Bern?
     
    Cameron Basle. I think so.
     
    Elizabeth I seem to do nothing
but
welcome you back from European summits. How many have you been to now?
     
    Cameron Lost count.
     
    Elizabeth Me, too. So … where do you think we are
now
? In a nutshell?
     
    Cameron The will for the euro to survive is there, no question. And the core countries, France, Germany, are finally taking the steps they need to in terms of banking union and federalism. But I still don’t get a sense of a shared mission.
     
Unseen by Cameron the Queen has nodded off
….
     
    Or