Free Stockholm Syndrome 2- 17 Black and 29 Red by Richard Rider Page A

with me being a fucking sulk and he aint complained once. I spose its just cos he knows me right? Me and him know each other better than just about anybody else in the whole world. I know when he wants to get left alone so he can deal with his pissy mood at his own speed, he knows when its the right time to come and drag me out my self indulgent whiny emo brat tantrums and take me out shopping or something. He even lets me eat peanut butter and cheese and onion breviles without no fuss if he thinks its gonna cheer me up. That's true love there. I think it suprises people sometimes we're still mates, like we lived in each other's pockets right through growing up in the flats and we picked all the same year 9 options so we didnt have to go in diferent classes and how many people still REALY stay mates that close after one of them has 4 kids? My dad says he couldnt live with me again cos he would go fucking loopy and clearly Ollys a nutcase as well risking his sanity like this but I think he's teasing. I think, I cant ever realy tell. Well anyway, our house is big enough we wouldnt ever have to see each other if we didnt want to. We want to, though.
    I wonder sometimes how long its going to last. I spose its diferent now we're together like boyfriends not together like house mates, there aint going to be no awkward shit about someone feeling like they got to move out cos the other ones settling down or whatever. Even if we wasnt boyfriends though he'd fucking better not try to kick me out. Its a big house. We could put a big wall up and split it into 2. I would even let him have the best half. I just dont like the idea of living where he isnt. God this is sounding WELL clingy and co dependent. Maybe it is. I think I might calm down a bit and feel better about the idea of living apart if I give it enough time. I know he aint in love with me. Its ok cos I know he LOVES me, that aint the same thing but its ok, its good enough for now. Its just I had these fucking awful things happen with someone whose supposed to love me just turning on me cos of an ACCIDENT and then you cant even depend on family either, there better than before but I still cant proper trust my dad and I dont know if I ever will. But Olly is the one person whose always going to be there. I'm a bit dodgy about trusting people sometimes but with Olly I never have to think about what he might do to screw me over cos he just won't. Its a good thing to KNOW so certain. Grass is green, water is wet, I love Olly.
    See I can say it here cos it aint to his face. Boys are funny bastards. Its alright for girls, there allowed to swan about in public giggling and holding hands and kissing each other hello and goodbye and shopping for knickers together. Blokes don't DO that. Well maybe I do but I'm hardly the average man am I? And maybe he used to but not no more, he's gone well grown up cos of the kids, he can still get cuddly if he's had a drink or its in private but he wouldnt hold my hand in public or nothing, thats like alien behaviour, it just aint the sort of thing what gets discussed even when its there. And so I write it cos I've had a few glasses of wine (a bottle is glass right?) and it suddenly seems dead important. I love Olly. I dont believe in soulmates no more but if I did I would claim him as mine cos girlfriends and boyfriends will come and go (haha litrally) but in like 70 years he is still going to be the biggest part of my life and thats really something. Its almost enough to make you START believing in soulmates again aint it? Soulmates and really fucking fantastic luck or a really kind God that you can meet somebody by chance cos the council just happened to put your mum's in flats near each other when your little and form this connection that cant ever get broken by space or time or tantrums or girlfriends.
    Thats one of the things Lindsay always kicked off about when he got in a mood. I never said nothing to Olly cos it was stupid, it was just Lindsay