Free Purple and Black by K.J. Parker

couldn't bring myself to tell you, or send you his journal. That Gorgias, of all people, died angry and afraid and in despair; I had to read that book, Nico. I didn't see why the rest of you should have to.
    Well, there you have it. I've got a team of clerks making copies of the journal (I'm not going to risk the original in the mail, not even your infallible Imperial couriers). I suppose I was wrong to try and keep it from you all. I'm sorry.
    Lamachus won a battle against the insurgents. I enclose a copy of his report. He did a great job and things are going really well.
    *
    His Divine Majesty Nicephorus V, brother of the invincible Sun, father of his people, defender of the faith, emperor of the Vesani, to Phormio, governor of Upper Tremissis, greetings.
    His Majesty commends the courage and diligence of General Lamachus.
    I see. Thank you for telling me. Thank you, I suppose, for not telling me. I guess I've only got myself to blame.
    The trouble with this job, with all the power and the resources and the ability to actually get things done, is that you start believing you can fix things. You see an obvious injustice; fine, you stretch forth your Imperial hand and there, you've fixed it. The economy's in a mess. So, you summon the people who really control it, and you make sure that on their way to your office they're taken past the guard-room and the dungeon and the place I told you about where the very bad people work, and then you tell them to get it sorted out, and it gets sorted out. You're disgusted at the poverty in the Naranite Quarter; you send in food, you start up public works to provide employment, problem solved. You think the new wing they've built onto the Goldsmiths' Hall is an eyesore and shouldn't have been allowed; ten days later, they're carting it away in big skips. Job done.
    But you never fix any damn thing. The obvious injustice turns out to have rather more to it than you first thought. You make them fix inflation, you get a run on the banks. Your public works mean you've got to jack up taxes, and small businesses go to the wall. And everybody liked the Goldsmiths' new wing except you, and you had it pulled down. The more you try and make things better, the more you end up looking, sounding and acting like the Government.
    I thought I could fix the Gorgias problem. Either I'd find him alive, or at least we'd know for sure what happened to him. Result; more misery, more unhappiness, which you tried to spare us.
    My illustrious ancestors and predecessors in this ridiculous job used to have themselves made into gods. Some of them actually believed it, and I always used to wonder how that was possible.
    How can you believe you're immortal, all-powerful, equal of the invincible Sun, when you've got a toothache, or when you're wiping your arse? But I understand better now. After all, I tried to bring the dead back to life, and look where it got me.
    Oh well. Looks like it's still just the five of us after all.
    *
    General Theophano Lamachus, commanding the auxiliary forces in Upper Tremissis, to His Divine Majesty Nicephorus V, brother of the invincible Sun, father of his people, defender of the faith, emperor of the Vesani, greetings.
    General Lamachus begs His Majesty's indulgence far the grave breach of protocol which this letter represents. In his defence, he pleads the potential seriousness of the allegations herein contained.
    General Lamachus has been given to believe that His Majesty has been making enquiries concerning the whereabouts of Dr Gorgias Bardanes, late of the University of Anassus, formerly a fellow-student with His Majesty at the said University. General Lamachus further understands that Governor Phormio has assured His Majesty that the said Gorgias Bardanes died in Parcys on the seventh day preceding the Ides of Trionalis.
    General Lamachus begs to inform His Majesty that this is not the case.
    Furthermore, General Lamachus has compelling evidence, acquired during the course of his