Free The Cannibals by Cynthia D. Grant

everybody else will just be seen opening their lockers or floating facedown in the pool?
    Some people even agreed! I couldn’t believe it!
    One thing I want to say right now: I am sick and tired of this negative attitude toward cheerleaders. Some people, like my mother, think we’re just a joke. I’ll never forget the look on her face when I told her, in ninth grade, that I’d made the Pep Squad. She looked like she’d swallowed something nasty that was coming back up! Is it my fault that the cheerleaders in her high school were a bunch of mean snobs who pushed her out of the locker room into the hallway in her underwear?
    Believe me, being a cheerleader isn’t easy. In the old days, all you had to do was be peppy and pretty and have firm thighs. Those uniforms are short! But now you must be a superb athlete as well. The Girls and I rehearse for hours . Our routines combine tumbling, juggling, acrobatics, and dance. We could get into the circus with some of these stunts, yet we still have to put up with kids making fun of us and parents who complain that our routines are too sexy!
    People don’t realize that if it weren’t for us, the fans would just sit in the stands like lumps and our teams would not be cheered on to victory.
    But ever since cheerleading was recognized as an official sport, people are taking it a lot more seriously. So I just want to take this opportunity to say a special thank-you to the Olympic Committee.
    Luckily, Ms. Stuart stuck up for us, noting that cheerleaders are experienced performers , and describing all of the legwork I’d done to make Scream Bloody Murder a reality. Then she asked me to stand up and take a bow.
    I can’t describe the incredible feeling that swept over me … not just because people were applauding and screaming; but because I knew, deep inside, where it counts, that I had made this dream come true.
    Hardly anyone booed.
    Then Ms. Stuart and Mr. Goldman answered questions from the audience. They explained that extras who have speaking parts will be paid the standard wage, and that most of the “shooting” on campus will take only a few days, although they’ll probably come back for “retakes,” et cetera. Mimi Durning asked if any frogs or animals would be killed in the film, but Ms. Stuart said no, just teenagers.
    Then Bradley Knight got up on behalf of the Black Students’ Union and said that it was outrageous that they were making this racist film on a public school campus; just wait until the ACLU and NAACP found out, but nobody knew what he was talking about. It turned out he was referring to the cannibals angle, but Ms. Stuart quickly explained that the cannibal vampires aren’t pygmies; they’re white . Then Bradley said that wasn’t fair either; there should be black vampires, too. Ms. Stuart revealed that one of the main vampires will be played by Keanu Mogatu , the center for the New York Knicks , and everybody, including Bradley, applauded loudly.
    Speaking of pygmies, I’m worried about Wally. Apparently a staff member misinterpreted his Cannibals sweatshirt and got mad and chased Wally into the jungle. I have got to call his dad tonight and see if they ever found him.
    Then Ms. Stuart and Mr. Goldman had everybody line up at long tables to fill out cards with their height, weight, Social Security numbers, et cetera. The people staffing the tables were part of the movie’s “technical crew,” all wearing black T-shirts with Scream Bloody Murder in dripping red letters. Mr. Goldman announced that everybody in the movie would receive one of these valuable collector’s items—for free !
    The Girls and I asked Ms. Stuart if she wanted to hear us scream, but she said no, she’d heard us at a pep rally. She said that the writers are still “polishing” the script and that she’ll get back to us as soon as it’s ready. In the meantime, she added,