Free Esrever Doom (Xanth) by Piers Anthony

demanded as Lyre served out portions.
    Lyre smiled. “We will in a moment. But first we want to amaze you with some of the fun things hidden around here, like a case of bottles of boot rear.”
    “And piles of candy,” Ione agreed.
    Kody left them to it as he walked to the edge. The ravening monster was gone, because it was no longer needed. In its place was a path leading to a door into the castle. He was at last gaining admittance. He hoped.

 
    4
    P ARTNER
    A pleasant woman was waiting for him. “Hello, Kody,” she said. “I am Wira, the Good Magician’s daughter-in-law. We have been expecting you.”
    “Hence the Challenges,” he said somewhat wryly.
    “It is the custom. The Good Magician needs to be assured that you are serious and will not be readily dissuaded from your mission.”
    “Folk who aren’t serious come here?”
    “Oh, yes. It’s amazing how many people seem to want something for nothing. They think they can somehow finesse the Challenges, get advice from the Good Magician, then renege on their commitment for service. Just last week there were twins, Barbar and Barbara. His talent was to make folks’ hair shorter, hers to make it longer. They didn’t need any advice, they just wanted to see if they could get in to see the Magician and waste a bit of his time.”
    Kody appreciated the problem. There were folk in Mundania like that. “How did you handle it?”
    “The first Challenge was to get past a pool containing a kraken, a ferocious seaweed monster with thousands of hairlike strands. Making a few strands grow longer or shorter didn’t help; it only annoyed the kraken. They gave it up as a bad job.”
    “But isn’t there always a way through a Challenge?”
    “Yes. All they had to do was offer to style the kraken’s weed-hair attractively. But they were afraid to come close enough.”
    Kody was amused. He decided not to argue the case further. “I may not be in Xanth long, so probably need to get on with it.”
    “Of course. The Good Magician will see you soon. This way, please.”
    They came to a narrow, winding stone stairway. But a woman puffed into existence on the bottom step, barring their way.
    “Metria?” Kody asked, surprised.
    The features coalesced into an unfamiliar face and form. “Hardly. That nuisance is not allowed inside. I am Dara Demoness, the Good Magician’s Designated Wife for this month.” She turned to Wira. “Humfrey’s not ready yet. Something about a conflict of schedules. I’ll entertain the querent in the night room.”
    “I will check with the Good Magician,” Wira said. “I will come for you in the night room soon, Kody.” She started up the staircase.
    Kody realized there was probably a pun there: day room, night room. Puns were endemic in this crazy land; no wonder they needed to be cleaned out. He followed the demoness as she floated slightly off the floor, leading him to a dusky chamber. Stars shone in the dark walls and ceiling, but it was light enough for him to make his way without faltering.
    “Zosi, this is Kody from Mundania,” the demoness said. Now he saw that there was a young woman standing in the chamber. She was rather pretty, with shoulder-length gray hair to match her gray eyes.
    “Hello, Zosi,” he said.
    “Hello, Kody,” she answered shyly.
    “I think Humfrey—that’s the Good Magician—did not realize he had a scheduling conflict,” Dara said. “So both of you got set up to see him at the same time. Wira will set that straight. She’s the only one who could. Sit down, both; I’ll bring refreshments.” She faded out.
    They sat on opposite sides of the room. Kody couldn’t help noticing that Zosi sat with her knees parted so that her legs were visible under her skirt. She did not seem to be a flirt, so it was more likely that she was distracted and careless. He could understand that, if her situation was remotely like his own. Which of course it couldn’t be, unless she was another dreamer.
    There was an