Free Kat: Breaking Pointe by Sebastian Scott

and sequins adorning her. ‘Lots of people try out three or four times for the Moulin Rouge before they get accepted. You’re in good company.’
    I nod. I wonder how many of them get offered a position and then have it taken away again. How many throw it away.
    â€˜I hope you try out again,’ Jade says, hugging me goodbye. ‘There’s no shame in coming back for a second go, you know. It’s part of life as a dancer.’
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    I walk along the wharf to the Academy. I really need a friend right now. Christian and Ben are trying out their hip-hop moves. They smile at me.
    â€˜Hey. I’ve been workshopping how to fit into a suitcase so I can stowaway to Paris. Look.’ Ben shows me his best squished up moves, resembling a pretzel.
    â€˜Looks cramped,’ I say weakly.
    â€˜Works better with an actual suitcase.’ He rushes off, presumably to find a suitcase, leaving Christian and I alone.
    Christian looks at me. ‘Lot of people are going to miss you.’
    â€˜Doubtful,’ I say. I take a breath. ‘I was a tiny bit late and April told me I’m not professional enough to keep my contract.’
    Christian is instantly on my side. ‘Nah, that’s crap. You don’t want to work for someone like that.’
    â€˜No, she’s actually really great. And she knows what she’s talking about.’ I know I’m contradicting myself. Suddenly I’m furious, but not with April. With myself. ‘How did I do this? I had an amazing opportunity, and KAPOW. The Kat effect strikes again.’
    I tear up, laughing and crying at the same time. Christian steps forward and takes me in his arms. I cling to him, feeling the strength and solidity of him.
    â€˜I just … I’m so sick of screwing everything up.’
    He holds me. This is nothing to do with the kiss. This is something else, something deeper than a crush. This is what lies at the heart of us.
    â€˜You can change April’s mind,’ he tells me. ‘If you want to go to Paris …’ I look at him through tears.
    â€˜You know when you replay things in your head. Try to work out where you went wrong?’ I say.
    Christian nods.
    â€˜I find myself wishing I could go back to last year. Do it all over again.’
    â€˜Are you saying what I think you’re saying?’ Christian asks me. He pushes the hair out of my face. ‘You miss it, don’t you? You’re always here. You never really left.’
    â€˜I hate this place,’ I say.
    â€˜Me, too,’ says Christian. ‘But it’s where we belong.’
    â€˜How can I – ?’
    â€˜Don’t ask me. You know who you have to see.’
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    I stand in front of Miss Raine changed, but I don’t know if she will see that. I’m smaller, humbled, even a little broken. But I’m bigger, too. Big enough to admit the truth. I’ve grown this year, grown into myself, grown into ballet. I know enough to know that I don’t know anything. All the things I thought I wanted – freedom, normality – haven’t turned out like I thought. There was always something missing. And I think I’ve finally worked out what that is.
    â€˜What did you say?’
    â€˜I want to … I want to come back to the Academy.’
    Miss Raine stares at me.
    â€˜I know I made mistakes last year.’
    â€˜I’m not arguing.’
    â€˜The thing is, if you give me another chance I promise I’ll be worth it.’
    â€˜This is the top dance school in the country. To get in once is a chance of a lifetime. It doesn’t happen twice.’
    â€˜I know. And I absolutely hear what you’re saying. But I am going to be the exception.’
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    So begins my war of attrition. I know Miss Raine won’t cave easily, but I need her to see that I’mnot going to give up. I know her well enough to know that she will have a moment of weakness eventually, I just have