Free Diary of a Mummy Misfit #1 by Amanda Egan Page B
Authors: Amanda Egan
institution that doesn’t promote such absurdities.”
Am hoping she still has our sniggers ringing in her pointy little ears!
Wednesday 18 th June AM
Nic called this morning in one of his ‘girlie flaps’. Both he and Rick have been offered parts on a summer tour, which doesn’t end until a week before their wedding.
“I know it’s an awful lot to ask, Honey-Bun, but would you mind terribly helping with the wedding arrangements? We’ve got lists and phone numbers and everything so it shouldn’t be too diff.”
Hope I managed to conceal my panic - I could just see my life spiralling out of control. I’ve taken on the fair and the puppet show and haven’t even given a thought to my own birthday (the biggie) also in August. Thought I was meant to have more time for myself as Max got older?
Nic’s such a good friend though and he really was panicking so I agreed for him to pop round later with the lists and his credit card details.
One more job can’t hurt and it is only a smallish wedding. How difficult can it be?
PM
Nic forgot to mention they hadn’t got round to actually booking anything apart from the registrar! (who was, thankfully, available to perform the ceremony at any approved venue). Oh, they’ve had lots of ideas, all of which were listed and one they’d even gone definite on - the colour scheme, black & cream (“ so much classier than white!”)
Frankly surprised by their lack of organisation. Really not like them at all but their obsession with detail had degenerated into lots of poofy bickering.
The pursuit of perfection now lies with me and I have a new list:
WEDDING LIST- as supplied by Nic & Rick, with notes by me.
Book venue - 23 rd August - try to have ceremony and reception in same place. If gorge hotel, book us the bridal suite as well. Will trust your judgment on food, Nige’! (Poss: sea food? No buffet crap.)
Great! The most popular month of the year for weddings and I’m meant to secure a venue. Panic then search web.
Once venue sorted, get invites done and posted - decide on one of the two invites in file, cos we can’t. Wording for invites and guest list attached - include the glorious Mrs S if you think she’d be up for it. Please note black and cream only to be worn - makes for fab photos - make clear to Ned in particular, couldn’t bear one his horrendous shirts!
Have decided on the most ornate invite - camp but not over the top. Review Ned’s shirts with gay eye tomorrow.
Order wedding cake - choc not fruit - must be gorgeous, in keeping with colour scheme and no more than 400 quid.
400 quid? I’ll make one myself for a fraction of that - consider tomorrow.
Book music - little band playing romantic show tunes for the meal and then wild disco until the early hours. DJ must have lots of Shirley Bassey, Madonna and Cher. Absolutely NO Elton John or Village People.
Panic tomorrow.
Flowers - decide where we will need them once venue is booked. Also lots on top table and 30 buttonholes - NO CARNATIONS, lots of lilies, cream only. Budget: 300.
At this rate, could be doing the flowers myself as well. Discuss with Fenella tomorrow.
FINALLY - you’ll be relieved to know:
Photographer - all sorted. Friend in the biz agreed to do it.
Our suits - leave to us, couldn’t expect you to dress us as well. (God forbid!)
Rings - ditto - SO exciting!
Good grief - will this be the straw that breaks my over-burdened back? Gay wedding organiser of the year, I am not.
Oh well, tomorrow’s another day.
Thursday 19 th June
Dropped Max at nursery and quickly disposed of more puppy packages - becoming a dab hand now and don’t even heave when I do it.
Mrs S came in to say she’d finished her hundredth jar and gave me a taste of her new ginger and lime pickle. Really hope she does well after all the hard work
Am hoping she still has our sniggers ringing in her pointy little ears!
Wednesday 18 th June AM
Nic called this morning in one of his ‘girlie flaps’. Both he and Rick have been offered parts on a summer tour, which doesn’t end until a week before their wedding.
“I know it’s an awful lot to ask, Honey-Bun, but would you mind terribly helping with the wedding arrangements? We’ve got lists and phone numbers and everything so it shouldn’t be too diff.”
Hope I managed to conceal my panic - I could just see my life spiralling out of control. I’ve taken on the fair and the puppet show and haven’t even given a thought to my own birthday (the biggie) also in August. Thought I was meant to have more time for myself as Max got older?
Nic’s such a good friend though and he really was panicking so I agreed for him to pop round later with the lists and his credit card details.
One more job can’t hurt and it is only a smallish wedding. How difficult can it be?
PM
Nic forgot to mention they hadn’t got round to actually booking anything apart from the registrar! (who was, thankfully, available to perform the ceremony at any approved venue). Oh, they’ve had lots of ideas, all of which were listed and one they’d even gone definite on - the colour scheme, black & cream (“ so much classier than white!”)
Frankly surprised by their lack of organisation. Really not like them at all but their obsession with detail had degenerated into lots of poofy bickering.
The pursuit of perfection now lies with me and I have a new list:
WEDDING LIST- as supplied by Nic & Rick, with notes by me.
Book venue - 23 rd August - try to have ceremony and reception in same place. If gorge hotel, book us the bridal suite as well. Will trust your judgment on food, Nige’! (Poss: sea food? No buffet crap.)
Great! The most popular month of the year for weddings and I’m meant to secure a venue. Panic then search web.
Once venue sorted, get invites done and posted - decide on one of the two invites in file, cos we can’t. Wording for invites and guest list attached - include the glorious Mrs S if you think she’d be up for it. Please note black and cream only to be worn - makes for fab photos - make clear to Ned in particular, couldn’t bear one his horrendous shirts!
Have decided on the most ornate invite - camp but not over the top. Review Ned’s shirts with gay eye tomorrow.
Order wedding cake - choc not fruit - must be gorgeous, in keeping with colour scheme and no more than 400 quid.
400 quid? I’ll make one myself for a fraction of that - consider tomorrow.
Book music - little band playing romantic show tunes for the meal and then wild disco until the early hours. DJ must have lots of Shirley Bassey, Madonna and Cher. Absolutely NO Elton John or Village People.
Panic tomorrow.
Flowers - decide where we will need them once venue is booked. Also lots on top table and 30 buttonholes - NO CARNATIONS, lots of lilies, cream only. Budget: 300.
At this rate, could be doing the flowers myself as well. Discuss with Fenella tomorrow.
FINALLY - you’ll be relieved to know:
Photographer - all sorted. Friend in the biz agreed to do it.
Our suits - leave to us, couldn’t expect you to dress us as well. (God forbid!)
Rings - ditto - SO exciting!
Good grief - will this be the straw that breaks my over-burdened back? Gay wedding organiser of the year, I am not.
Oh well, tomorrow’s another day.
Thursday 19 th June
Dropped Max at nursery and quickly disposed of more puppy packages - becoming a dab hand now and don’t even heave when I do it.
Mrs S came in to say she’d finished her hundredth jar and gave me a taste of her new ginger and lime pickle. Really hope she does well after all the hard work
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