Free No Regrets (Live Today #2) by Savana Jade

want to listen to me, but if you do please listen to this. Forgive him. He did what he did to protect you, him and his family. He was only doing what he thought was the right thing.
                                                                                        I’m sorry,
                                                                                                      Carmen
     
    Once finished, I drop my hands and look down at Jenna. She sits in silence and stares out into the ocean. She’s thinking about something. The “ something ” is what I would give anything to find out.  If I wasn’t so fucking scared of her reaction, I would ask her. So, like the coward I am, I just stand there and wait for her to make her move. Deciding I can’t look at her without the urge to take her into my arms, I drop the letter at her feet, tuck my hands back into my pockets and turn toward the water, once again letting the water and sand take over my feet.
    “So what now?” she asks. I can’t help but chuckle and shrug for an answer. She knows I can’t answer that question. The ball is in her court now. “Gabe?” Her voice is now directly behind me. “Please help me out here.”
    “What do you want me to say that hasn’t already been said? What do you want me to do Jenna? Start from the beginning?” I turn toward her and look into her eyes.
    “I want… I want… I don’t know what I want!” She yells. Good she’s yelling at me. I deserve it! “I want you to tell me what the hell happened! I don’t want to hear it from anyone else.”
    “I told you!” I try not to get angry, but the tension is taking over. “I never laid a finger on her. I never laid a finger on anyone Jenna. What do you want from me?”
    “Don’t lie to me Gabe!” She hollers, waving her hands. “How in the hell can you tell me that you never laid a finger on anyone when I saw the texts? I saw the girls that would meet you after each gig. Are you telling me you never touched any of them?”
    “I didn’t!” I take a step toward her. “So yes! I’m telling you that!”
    “STOP. LYING. GABE!” I’ve never seen her this angry before, but I deserve it.
    “I’m not!” I take her by the shoulders and continue to yell. “I have never lied to you! Yes I kept LG from you. But I only did it because the kid isn’t mine! I dated Carmen, yes. But I never touched her Jenna. When I left Kansas seven years ago, I was a virgin!”
    “Like I said before Gabe, how can you guarantee that some groupie isn’t going to pop up in the future and try to pull the same shit on us?” Tears are streaming down her face now. I need to calm her down before she cracks right before my eyes.
    “Because. I. Never. Touched. Any. Of. Them.” I try to contain my voice, wiping the tears off her face with the pads of my thumbs.
    “How can you say that and look me in the eye when I know better?”
    “Because Jenna! Ugh!” I turn away from her taking a few breaths. “Why is this so hard?”
    “What’s so hard Gabe?” She yells. “I gave myself to you back there! I have nothing else to give to anyone anymore! I just knew you were the one! No matter what happened between us in the future, I knew it was you. I was even considering making a future with LG if he was truly yours. But I can’t take the lies Gabe!”
    “Dammit Jenna!” I turn toward her. “I gave myself to you too! Only you! I Nev…”
    “What?” Her voice is softer but confused. “What did you just say?”
    “Yeah,” I snap. “Only you. I took those girls out only to get you jealous. The worse I ever did was kiss them. I never touched anyone but you Jenna.” I slouch with exhaustion and find myself sitting where she left the letter. “That’s what I was trying to explain to you in Kansas. But you never gave me the