Free Still Surviving by A.M. Johnson

fucking unbelievable.”
    I laid my forehead against his chest taking a deep pull of air into my lungs. His scent was calming as I tried to clear my head. He was right about that day. Colt had forced himself on me. I had tried to bury that down, bury the feeling of his hot breath on my neck, the sound of his voice as he held me against the washing machine, the cold hard metal pushing against my exposed breasts and cheek; it had happened and I had to believe it or I’d never really forgive myself.
    Seth’s hand smoothed down the back of my head. “You’re right,” I whispered. He kissed the top of my head.
    “I usually am.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Let’s go to sleep. You’re exhausted.” He lifted my chin with one finger. His eyes on mine. Seth’s breathing was uneven as his eyes fell to my mouth; for a split second, I thought he was going to kiss me. But instead, he flipped the button of my jeans and slowly pulled my pants down as he kneeled before me. His hand on my calf, he raised my leg just enough to peel the jeans off completely and then repeated the task on my other leg.
    “W-what are you doing?” My voice shuddered as he let his fingers massage the backs of my calves, then gradually drifting them up my goose bumped thighs.
    “Putting you to bed.” His grin stretched across his face, lighting his steel blue eyes. He walked past me leaving me dazed. My body was so tired, my emotions overwhelmed, and my nerves frayed, but with one touch he could make me forget every terrible thing about my past… my life.
    Seth pulled the sheets back just before he took his jeans off and placed them on the end of the bed. He stood there in just dark gray boxer briefs. His magnificent form revealed to me. All his ink, all that muscle — he was a monument… untouchable and beautiful. I blinked slowly. I thought for sure he would vanish before my eyes. No man could be this incredibly attractive.
    Seth climbed into my bed. “You coming?”
    I moved onto my side of the mattress and laid flat on my back while I pulled up the covers. The dim light of my side lamp cast funny shadows around the room. I was anxious and wasn’t sure what he expected of me.
    “Roll over… onto your side.” I did as he asked. My heart skipped at the subtle command in his voice and then started a full on sprint when the heat of his hands skated under my shirt and across my back. The tips of his fingers found the lines of my angel wings. My nervous pulse eased and, with each stroke of his fingers against my skin, my eyes began to feel heavier.
    “Thank you… for tonight… for letting me fall apart.”
    Seth pulled me flush against his body, his powerful arm draped across my waist, my back to his chest. I felt his lips murmur against my neck as he spoke. “Just promise me one thing?”
    “Okay?” I could feel the rise and fall of his strong chest along my back.
    He didn’t speak for what felt like a whole minute. He trailed the tip of his nose along the line of my neck and inhaled. “Promise me, Tiff, even if shit between us gets fucked up… you’ll let me be there to pick up the pieces… if you need me. Don’t shut me out… I don’t think I could…” His forehead rested in the crook of my neck. “…just prom—“
    “I promise, Seth. Friends, okay? Always.” The words hurt to say, because I wanted him to be so much more, but I’d take what I could get.
    He pulled away from me just enough to put his head back on the pillow. The weight of his arm across my body made me feel safe. He exhaled a long breath before he began to paint little circles with his thumb against my belly. The rhythmic touch silenced my tension within minutes. Before I knew it, everything faded to black. This shit night was over, and I was more than happy to lie in his arms — where I was undeniably and finally home.
     

     
    T HE UNMISTAKABLE SMELL OF soap, incense, and spice encapsulated me. My cheek was resting against Seth’s chest,